avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Avoid These 8 College Essay Blunders for 100% Success

Crafting a personal essay for college is a formidable challenge, but it's also your golden ticket to make a compelling first impression on admissions committees. Your essay is the narrative of your unique qualities, experiences, and dreams, all skillfully woven within the constraints of a word limit. The stakes are high, but fear not, because mastering this craft can set you apart in a sea of applicants.

A student immersed in thoughtful essay writing at a wooden desk, bathed in warm golden light

Why is it crucial to avoid missteps in your college essay? Admissions officers aim to uncover your authentic self, not to discover reasons for rejection. Steering clear of common pitfalls is the key to transforming an ordinary essay into an unforgettable masterpiece and distinguishing yourself from the crowd. Prepare to empower yourself with the knowledge needed to craft an attention-grabbing essay.

As you delve into common errors to avoid in college essays, keep in mind that these missteps can hinder your essay's ability to authentically represent you to admissions committees.

Common college essay errors to dodge

1. avoiding overly formal language and structure.

Crafting a personal essay for college can feel like a daunting task. You might think you need to adopt a stiff, formal tone, but that's not what admissions committees are looking for. Imagine you're having a conversation with a friend rather than writing a formal document.

🚀 Example ‍ Instead of saying, "I am interested in pursuing a degree in biology," go for a more relaxed tone like, "I've got a fascination with the natural world." This approach lets your unique personality shine through, making your essay more relatable and engaging.

2. Resisting the urge to list all achievements

It's tempting to include every accolade and accomplishment in your essay, but remember, less is often more. Instead of overwhelming the reader with a laundry list of achievements, think about one significant accomplishment that tells a compelling story.

🚀 Example ‍ Rather than listing all your volunteer work, focus on a specific volunteering experience that had a profound impact on you. Share the story of how it changed your perspective or shaped your goals.

3. Steering clear of vagueness

Vague and nebulous descriptions can undermine the impact of your essay. Be clear and specific in your storytelling.

🚀 Example ‍ Instead of saying, "I had a life-changing experience," describe the specific event, the emotions it stirred, and the lessons you learned. For instance, "During my summer volunteering trip in Costa Rica, I witnessed the transformative power of education.”

This not only makes your essay more memorable but also demonstrates your ability to engage your audience with a compelling narrative, painting a vivid picture of your experiences.

4. The art of showing, not just telling

In your college essay, don't just state your qualities; illustrate them through storytelling. Use specific anecdotes, descriptive language, and sensory details to create a vivid picture of who you are.

🚀 Example ‍ Instead of saying, "I'm determined," share a story: "In the midst of my junior year, I encountered a challenging research project. Late nights, frustration, and guidance-seeking were part of it. One night, staring at a blank screen, I persisted. I reached out for help, revised my approach, and eventually presented my findings with a sense of accomplishment. This taught me that determination drives us forward, even in adversity."

By showing your determination through this story, your essay becomes more persuasive and memorable, leaving a lasting impression.

5. Being authentic about life challenges

While it's important to showcase your strengths, honesty matters. If you haven't faced significant hardships, that's okay. Share a genuine experience, even if it's a smaller obstacle you've overcome. Authenticity resonates with readers.

🚀 Example ‍ Let's say you haven't faced major adversity in your life, but you did have to overcome a fear of public speaking. Instead of fabricating a hardship, be authentic: "I used to be terrified of public speaking, to the point where even raising my hand in class made my heart race. Overcoming this fear was a personal challenge, and I worked tirelessly to improve. Eventually, I joined the debate club, and with time and practice, I not only conquered my fear but also developed valuable communication skills."

6. Keeping the spotlight on the students

While it's acceptable to mention influential people in your life, remember that the primary focus of your essay should be you. If you want to talk about a role model, share how their influence shaped your ambitions, but always bring the focus back to your own journey.

🚀 Example ‍ You might be inspired by a teacher or a family member. In your essay, briefly mention their impact, but then transition into how their influence guided you to explore your interests and ambitions. Make sure the essay primarily highlights your personal growth and aspirations.

7. Limiting the number of reviewers

Seeking feedback on your essay is valuable, but don't overdo it. Too many opinions can muddy the waters. Select a few trusted individuals who know you well and can provide constructive feedback. This focused approach ensures that your essay maintains a coherent voice and message.

🚀 Example ‍ You might be tempted to have your essay reviewed by numerous people—teachers, friends, family, and online forums. Instead, choose a small group of individuals whose opinions you trust. This might include a teacher, a parent, and a close friend. Their feedback will be more manageable and valuable.

8. Prioritizing timely essay completion

Procrastination can be your worst enemy when writing a college essay. Starting early allows ample time for revisions and reduces stress. Give yourself time to revise and refine your essay. Remember, a well-thought-out essay often goes through multiple drafts before it shines. Ready to create a standout college essay?

🚀 Example ‍ Imagine you have a few months before your application deadline. Instead of waiting until the last minute, start by brainstorming ideas, create an outline, and then write a rough draft. This early start gives you the freedom to revise and polish your essay over time, resulting in a much stronger final piece.

Additional resources

In your journey to crafting an outstanding college essay, remember that you don't have to go it alone. Here are some valuable resources to complement the tips provided in this article:

1. Official college websites

Start by visiting the official websites of your chosen colleges. These sites offer up-to-date information on essay prompts and admission criteria, providing a foundational understanding of what each institution expects.

2. College admissions books

Explore trusted books on college admissions and essay writing for in-depth guidance. Titles like "The College Application Essay" and "On Writing the College Application Essay" provide valuable advice and strategies.

3. Online communities

Engage with online forums and communities like College Confidential, Reddit's r/ApplyingToCollege, and Aha , the AI learning platform. These platforms offer real-life experiences, peer support, and insights to inspire and guide your college essay journey. Remember, the key to success is tapping into a variety of resources that suit your needs and preferences.

4. Writing workshops, courses, and counselors

Consider online writing workshops and courses on platforms like Coursera, edX, and Udemy. Additionally, seek personalized guidance from high school or independent college counselors who can offer one-on-one support tailored to your needs.

1. Is one typo in a college essay bad?

While one typo in your college essay is not ideal, it typically won't lead to automatic rejection by admissions committees. However, it's essential to strive for perfection in your application because a typo can detract from the overall professionalism and impact of your essay. Admissions officers are looking for well-crafted and polished essays that demonstrate your attention to detail. To minimize the risk of typos, proofread your essay carefully, consider using spell-check software, and have someone else review it for errors.

2. How do I fix my college essay?

Fixing your college essay depends on the nature of the issues you want to address. Here's a step-by-step approach:

  • Review and self-edit: read your essay carefully for clarity, grammar, and coherence. Look for typos, awkward sentences, or unclear passages.
  • Seek feedback: ask a trusted friend, family member, or teacher to review your essay. They can offer valuable feedback and spot errors that may have escaped your notice.
  • Grammar and spelling check: use grammar and spell-check tools available in word processing software like Microsoft Word or Google Docs to identify and correct issues.
  • Content clarity: ensure that your ideas are well-organized and that each paragraph flows logically. Clarify any vague or unclear sentences or concepts.
  • Proofread: once you've made edits, proofread your essay again to confirm that you've addressed all issues.
  • Final review: read your essay one final time to ensure it's polished and error-free.

3. What if I have a spelling error in my college essay?

If you discover a spelling error in your college essay, don't panic. Follow these steps to rectify the situation:

  • Identify the error: locate the specific word with the spelling error.
  • Correct it: if you're working on a digital document, use the spell-check feature to correct the spelling. If it's a handwritten essay, neatly cross out the incorrect word and write the correct spelling above it.
  • Re-read the sentence: after making the correction, read the sentence to ensure it flows smoothly and still makes sense.
  • Proofread: re-read the entire essay to check for any additional spelling errors or typos.
  • Seek a second opinion: ask someone you trust to review your essay as well, as a fresh set of eyes can catch errors you might have missed.

Remember, while it's best to submit an error-free essay, colleges understand that occasional mistakes can happen. What's more important is the content and quality of your essay, so don't let a single spelling error overshadow your strengths and unique story.

Crafting your college essay is a crucial task to introduce yourself effectively to admissions committees. Avoiding common mistakes, seeking feedback, and staying true to your story are key steps in this journey.

In summary, your college essay is your chance to shine, so seize it! Start early, gather trusted feedback, and share your unique narrative authentically. To further enhance your essay skills, explore webinar recordings and seek expert support.

Ready to elevate your essay game? Join Aha for quality sample questions and AI-driven analysis. It's your resource to boost your AI learning skills and improve your chances of success.

Relevant links

  • 13 Insanely Effective Tips to Position Yourself for College Admissions Success
  • 8 Most Common College Application Mistakes to Avoid
  • Why 80% of Seniors Regret Ignoring These Insights – Be Part of the 20% Who Thrive
  • 27 Outstanding College Essay Examples From Top Universities 2023

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The 10 Biggest Mistakes To Avoid On Your College Essay

The recording will load in a moment., about this livestream.

avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Learn about the top 10 most common college essay mistakes and how to spot and fix them.

Jordan Sanchez, current sophomore at Harvard University, will walk through the most common college essay mistakes she has encountered while editing her own and others’ work. She will also provide essay examples and several exercises you can use to review and adjust your own work before, during, and after writing your college essay.

Throughout the presentation, she will be open to answering questions about the topics she covered most recently and her own essay writing process.

Video Transcript

Okay, Hey, everyone. So I just made a big mistake.

I just realized I was live.

And I wasn't actually live. How embarrassing is that? You know what, it's fine. It's whatever.

So hey, people, it's eight o'clock on the dot, I guess that's life, you know it. But today we're gonna be talking about the top 10 most common college essay mistakes. And I will basically be doing this live over again, because I was live for a little bit, actually, like 20 minutes. Okay, let's get started and do that all over again. So, Hey, everyone, I'm Jordan. I'm a sophomore at Harvard, concentrating in physics, with secondaries in computer science, and education. I'm so excited to be talking to you guys. Today, I have been seriously editing essays, since I would say May or June of this year. So I have read a lot of them. I've left a lot of feedback. And I'm just really excited to share with you guys some common essay mistakes. So you guys don't make them in your essay.

I just can't believe I was streaming for 20 minutes, but I wasn't actually on air. I'm like, still not over that. Yeah. So we're going to get into it. Um, yeah, let's go.

So today, we're going to cover a whole bunch of different mistakes, essays can be or not the essays and mistakes can be sorted into three different categories. So once you make before writing, so planning, essay topics, doing research, while writing, so structure, writing strategies, drafts, and then after writing, so editing, revising, and submitting, and just so you guys know, I will be doing Q and A's actually, throughout this livestream instead of just at the end. So right after the before writing, and right before the wall writing Part, we'll have a q&a. And then we'll have one right after it while writing and we'll have another one after after writing. So you can leave your questions. Oh, hey, people, I'm like, my phone is right. And I see the chat. So Hey, everyone. So excited for you guys to join me. Leave your questions throughout the presentation, and I will answer them at those specific parts. So the first thing before we get anywhere, any further into this presentation, we need to discuss the purpose of the essay and why it actually matters. So the admissions profile is made up of a few things. First is your academics, your GPA, class rank, course bigger, things like that. The next thing is your extracurricular, so activities, household responsibilities, things like that. Then you have exams, so s AP, ACT, APs,IBs, and Subject Tests. And then you have essays, so personal statement supplements. And I just want to reaffirm or validate any kind of worries you have about the exams. I know that College Board has been canceling a lot of their SAT, ACT, APs and things like that. But do not worry, it's not the end of the world. A lot of schools are going tests optional this year, which is really good for you guys. But because the schools are going Test Options, and you're basically losing this entire exam section, your essay will mean a lot more. So just keep that in mind. You want to make sure you're doing the most with your essays that it's going to be really really solid. I'm sorry, I'm laughing. I just can't believe I went live for so long. Okay, anyway, purpose of the common FSA, there are like some key things that the common app essay should do. And it gets a little bit more details about its role in the admissions process. I see some questions. Because they're related. So I'll answer them now. Do you recommend taking this subject test? or Why do you recommend taking the subject test because I was planning just take the sap specially do condition. If you are applying this year, if you are a rising senior, don't worry about Subject Tests at all. Like you don't have to worry about them because they're just irrelevant. Now focus on the SEC AC t. So yeah, but if you are a rising Junior, say the Subject Tests in this, what like june of your junior year, I think is like the general like standard. Next thing, what kind of household responsibilities would be valid enough to put on a profile.

So if you are caring for like a sick, sick, older or younger family member and it takes up a significant portion of your time, they go ahead? If you have a pet and you have to like walk the dog? Probably not. Maybe you have that in your family's business. Yeah, so anything that takes a significant portion of your time you want to put on there.

So the essays are the only time admissions officers get to hear from you directly. Do you want to make sure you're making the most of this opportunity? So whether your essays are awesome. required, you should always complete them to your best ability unless it's like an additional information section or disciplinary history section. If you don't have any disciplinary history, don't write anything for that essay. Like, there's no point. But if your family is affected by COVID, or if you seriously struggled with something in your high school career, definitely put in the additional information section. But aside from that your essays like common app and supplements are worth 25 to 30% of your admissions profile under COVID. So as you can see, that is a lot. So in general, the common app essay should give the admissions officer a clear sense of who you are, this is the only chance to showcase your personality and how it fits with the campus culture. Because again, it's the only time they get to hear from you directly. Without this essay, the whole application would be about you with nothing actually from you, which kind of like sucks. So you also want to show how you've grown or remain especially consistent, or any major lessons you've learned and how you implement them throughout your life. Usually, students do this by focusing on a specific moment and how it affected them. And we'll talk a little bit more about essay structures later on. You want to make sure you're being really specific about yourself in your experiences. And always ask yourself the question, Could anyone else write this essay and we'll talk a little bit more about generating unique essay ideas later on. And as always, you want to complete the picture you paint with the rest of your application, because this is a pretty hefty part, and it kind of like seals the deal. So a quick recap, the personal statement essay, which is same thing as common app essay matters, because one, it's your voice, the admissions officers really get to hear from you for the first and only time ever, to individuality, it really helps you stand out because it's your specific story. And no one can take that from you. Three college fit, like that's what essays are usually about just how well you fit into a college campus. And then for holistic admissions, so your essays can make up for weaker part of your application. And this was true of me, like my grades, like my, my classes are really hard with my grades like weren't, like, I didn't have a 99 or anything like that. And I truly think that my strong essays really, like helped me stand out and like really sealed the deal for my application, especially at Harvard.

Um, someone's asking, do you recommend submitting the same essay to multiple schools, and I actually have a slide up about this, it's kind of towards the end. So if you hang tight, I do want to answer that question just really thoroughly. So hang tight till the end. So before writing, here are some SEO mistakes that you can make. And if you have any questions about this before writing section, drop them in the chat as I go through them. So like you won't be kind of like rushed and stuff like that. And I want to make sure I get to your questions. So the first mistake most obvious is writing about the wrong thing. So regardless of what you write about, you want to make sure your topic is unique, engaging and authentic to you.

Um, someone's asking, you just mentioned a personal statement. Does that mean the common application essay tips also work for personal statements? Since you're all applying to undergrad? Yeah, personal statement CommonApp are pretty much the same thing. When you're applying to like grad school or another program, it may be like personal statement is like what do you want to do at the school, but since you're applying to a four year bachelor's program, like personal statement and comment from same thing, Okay, back to the slide. So you don't want to write a four sob story, a lot of students think you have to write a sob story to get in. None of my essays were sob stories, because that's just not the kind of person I am.

And I got it. So it's completely fine. Don't worry about it. There are a whole bunch of essays that worked successful essays that are positive, so don't be afraid to use that to your advantage. The next thing is someone else's story.

A lot of students will talk about struggles their family member had, or some crazy experience their parents went through, which is great if it actually affected you and how you've grown up. And if it's led to some like significant change in your life. You don't want to write someone else's story in your essay, because we don't actually get to learn about you. The whole point of the essay is sort of AOs to learn (AO is short for admissions officer by the way,) like they want to learn who you are. And if you would belong on this campus, not about your mom or your grandma or your dad or anything like that.

Next thing, like some students just choose not to show growth. And I think it's important to show growth, even if your essay is not about a specific like, I experienced this and it changed my life forever. Like it's totally okay if your essay is not that, but you do want to make sure that you are growing as a person in your essay. Because think like a story. This essay is basically a story and you want to have a plot and you want to show character development, stuff like that without the essay just seems really flat. The next and most common mistake is that you choose and it says I can't hear you. Well, you keep going in and out. Okay, let me see if I could like, do something with my audio. I don't really know, to do much. But hopefully, hopefully the recording will capture this because I don't want you guys to not hear me good. Can you guys hear me good? Oh my god, I can't believe I did Nicki Minaj reference. I'm sorry about that. So the next last mistake is writing an essay topic that is way too common. So some essay topics are overdone, literally every single year. So I don't want to it's not impossible to get into a school with a common essay topic.

Yeah, y'all are laughing. Oops. Okay, anyway, it's not impossible to get into a school with a common essay topic. It just makes it a lot harder to stand out. And you want to stand out like that's your goal in the college admissions process. I'm going to talk a little louder. Hopefully my roommates won't hate me. So obviously, like the next natural slide is the most common essay topics. So basically admissions officers, as I said, they may read like up to thousands of essays in a given application season. So writing about a common topic might hurt you and may keep you from standing out. So it said a child anyway. So yeah, period, I'm sorry. So you're the most common essay topics, you have sports and sports related injuries, like, try not to do that everyone who plays a sport writes about sports, please do something else. I promise there is more to you than like a basketball, I promise. The next thing is death of a loved one. I'm like, we love your grandma, grandpa, like gender nonconforming grandparent. But we need to make sure that this essay is about you that we're learning about you and your strengths and who you are. Okay, the next thing is divorce or an absent parent. So, especially with absent parents, I feel like a lot of students with absent parents lose a parent early on in their childhood, like, obviously, which will affect your life, like going forward. But you want to make sure that essay is taking place more recently, and I'll talk a little bit more about like, the timing of the events in your essay later on. And then moving with immigration, I will talk a little bit more about that, like, I'll circle back to it. And then COVID-19, because like, we're all living through a pandemic, no one really wants to read about it. But if you really have a transformational story, if something really happened to you, like during quarantine, that wasn't just like, Oh, I was sad, and I lost all my friends, like definitely talk about it in the additional information section, there is an entire section where you could just write about COVID-19. So if you have a story to tell, tell it there, don't use your common app essay for it. Now, as I said earlier, it's not impossible to read a successful essay about one of these topics, but it does make it harder to stand out. And I personally wouldn't take the risk going back to moving and immigration. So obviously, or maybe not. So obviously, a lot of college applicants are most of them are like citizens or not immigrants like they're born in the United States. So it's not, it's not that this essay topic is like super common among the entire applicant pool. But it is very common for either international or immigrant students, just because usually they rehash the same themes. And it's not bad, like immigration immigrating as a child is a huge thing. But you want to make sure you don't just talk about that you want to talk about something else that makes you more unique. And that feeds into my next slide about generating unique essay ideas. So the best way to create a real unique essay. Oh, thanks for saying you can hear me good. Make sure Kenny has Yeah, I'm not going to make that reference. Again, come your questions, by the way, because I think we're getting somewhat close to the end of this section, you want to make sure you are making an intersection. Basically, what this means is talking about two aspects of your identity, and how they affect each other. Because you don't exist in isolation. It's not like I'm on the cheer team one day, and then I like do something else. The next like, it's the same person doing all of those things. And they are bound to affect each other, especially in a country as like diverse as United States. So you can pick a hobby, maybe your race and culture, community life events, etc. and talk about how they intersect and affect each other and doing this will decrease the likelihood of someone else having the exact same essay topic as you.

So for example, someone saying like "I want to write about sports," it's like okay, sports are common, give me something more. So here's an example: as a girl playing male dominated sports conflicted with the values of my culture.

So a lot of girls playing like basketball. I don't even know basketball football, like other male dominated sports may write an essay about being a girl in a male dominated sport. However, when you add in the aspect of Your culture and how it like conflicts with the values are something that will make it a whole lot more unique because you're talking about the specific things that are unique to you, your life and your experience. For example, my essay was about my experience as a black student at a predominantly like white and Asian High School. And how that affected what I did was my title of Miss New York. And as you can see this, like talks about my race community, and my hobbies all into one thing. So it really like prevents anyone from writing the same essay, even though students may have similar essays, like maybe they like compete in pageants, or maybe they went to a predominantly white or Asian High School, like I talked about how I started a blog, and like, no one, I'm pretty certain not many people started a blog as a result of these experiences, do you want to make sure you're being very, very unique and specific. So to force yourself to come up with these things, like aside from just listing all the things that you do, and like drawing connections, is by forcing yourself to come up with 30 essay ideas. So you're gonna in one sitting, you're going to list 10, you're going to take like a one minute break, you're going to list 10 more, and then 10 more. And by doing this, you force yourself to get past a really like surface level. Things you actually want to get to like, what the meat and potatoes really unique sad is that no one else can write. And once you come up with an essay, like topic that you think you're going to do, ask yourself, if anyone else could write the essay? And if so, try to modify the topic a little bit. So the next this is actually Oh, you're missing the work Nice. Yeah, I was I was I actually, I think I'm going to be missing work. Again, we're still waiting on the results. But yeah, so this is like the biggest, biggest, biggest feedback if you haven't, edit your essay, and we'll probably say it's unfocused. So 650 words is not a lot. So you want to make sure your essay is focused, and that you're able to be specific about everything you cover. unfocus essays try to talk about way too many things. And this really, like messes up the central idea, and no one actually knows that it is. So once you come up with their general essay topic, say you want to talk about sports, because you haven't like come up with something really specific.

You want to make a list of all the possible ways your essay could go. And then you want to choose the one that's most relevant to you, and stick to it. So here's my example, about sports, because sports is common.

So sports can teach you like determination, and like develop your drive to win. But it also could affect your relationship with your parents, maybe you learned a lot of things from sports, maybe you learn how to balance sports and other commitments. And maybe sports helped you overcome stage fright. So as you can see, all of these topics, although they are under the umbrella category of sports, are very, very different and could result in completely different essays. So you want to make sure you do this with your essay topic, really sit down and take the time to go through all of it. And then pick one because that will force you to be super specific. And we learn more about you, which is good. And you want to make sure like just so you know, if you're writing an essay about sports and any of these elements, you don't pick one of these, like do this, do this exercise for yourself and pick your own. Okay, because it's your essay, you want it to be unique and all about you. The next mistake is not planning enough, and I see some questions coming in. And I will answer that at the end of the section. But the next thing is just not planning enough. So to write an effective essay, you will need to plan a few things out beforehand.

Because unplanned essays may seem really rushed, disorganized and unfocused, as we said before, which isn't good. So before you write your first draft, you want to make sure you're asking yourself these questions and answering them with like solid in depth answers. So the first How will the essay start and ends? If you don't know how it's gonna end? Well, if you don't ask him to start, you can't start and if you don't know how it's gonna end, you're just going to be writing aimlessly, which isn't good. The next thing what do I want the admissions officers to know about me? Like, do you want them to know that you're resilient, that you're a doer that you're an achiever that you never give up? Most of those are like synonyms. But that's okay. Like, you want to make sure you know what you're trying to convey about yourself. The next what is the central idea of this essay without a central idea that you're just gonna be writing aimlessly, it's gonna be really unfocused. And then Am I answering the prompt? For CommonApp essays, I say don't write to the prompt, because the last prompt is right, whatever you want. But for supplements, you want to make sure you are answering the prompt. And specifically, if you're writing a why this school or why this major supplement, you want to you want to make sure you're doing a lot of research about the school ahead of time. So what is the culture on campus? What specific programs that? Would I be interested in? What makes a school different from the others? And what kinds of qualities are the admissions officers looking for? How can I reflect those qualities in my essays? So for all of these questions, you're gonna I have answers to them. You may not explicitly include these answers in the essay, you may not include all of them, but they're just going to be more apparent. And they're going to make sure you're on the right track when you are writing. So here is a simple like essay Planning Guide, if you're on your phone or computer, whatever, screenshot this because it's a nice like quick outline. So before you write, you want to make sure you know what the goals of the essay are, what you want to share, and what themes you're going to be focused on. So you won't have like a crazy mess. The first thing you want to do is start out with a story or a moment, this could be a challenge or time when you learn something about yourself, someone else or the world, it doesn't really have to be like a moment where you learn something, but it should be an important or impactful moment. And I'll give you an example of an essay that doesn't have that that's not about them learning, just you can see like what a first story or hook could look like, then you obviously want to have a transition about how the two stories are related.

And then you want to talk about the second story or moments. And in the transition, it could be like context or something, it could just be any information that would help the admissions officer really understand the story to the fullest extent. But then you want to go on to your second story or moment. So the time when you display this knowledge or quality, and applied it to your life, this will really help you like this second moment shows the admissions officers how you actually change, like saying you change this one thing, showing them is completely different, like a completely different thing. And we're going to talk more about showing and telling and things like that later on. And then you want to end with a wrap up. So how does that experience affect who you are today, and who you will be in the future. I'll talk more about how this differs from a traditional conclusion, and a five paragraph essay structure a little bit later. But make sure you are leaving your questions because now I'm going to hop into the chat and see what's going on.

Okay, so someone's asking, Can I or us was asking, Can I talk about two different cultures and how it's been hard because not only are my parents different generation, but they grew up in a different culture. This is not necessarily related to immigration. But I was wondering if this is a good idea is okay, if you say it's not, I'm really looking for honest feedback, I will always give honest feedback.

So, the first thing I'm going to be honest with you, I literally I was writing or not writing, I was reading an essay this morning about a student who has an American parent and a Finnish parent. And if that doesn't give you an idea of how common an essay topic about like two cultures merging is, and I don't know what well, it's not that it's a bad topic, it's just that it's a little common. So instead of if you really, really, really want to talk about your cultures and how like these intersect and affect you and like make you who you are, make sure that you add another thing, like maybe this, I'm completely making this up. But maybe you like your parents are two different cultures. And like they're kind of parenting you in two different ways. And you're at school, and you don't know which Culture Club to join. So you join a student government and you create a like all cultures day or United Nations day where everyone can like just sharing the love and not be so divided. Like that is an instance where I would say it's okay, because there is like the action part, the part that makes it really specific to you. If you don't have something that's super specific like that, then I am not sure I don't think I would encourage you to write about that. The next thing are a gap years cliche, gap years are cliche if you talk about how you went to Africa to volunteer for the children and build schools like one that's modern day colonialism. And two, you don't want to just come off as like, I'm a savior, I'm doing all this good. So you should reward me. Like, you want to make sure if you're talking about a gap year, that it's not just like "I went to these poor, unfortunate people and help them," you know

How many schools Did you apply to? And when did you start working on your college apps? I applied to 17 schools, three targets, like 10 reaches and then I guess four, I mean, three safeties so forth targets. And then I started on my essay in the summer, but I didn't write the draft that I submitted until I didn't finish it until mid October. I started it like about now early September. And then I roll all of my supplements from November 1 November 1 to December 31, I guess. And yeah, like because I applied to so many reaches, most of my schools did require supplements.

There's a lot of writing, but please start sooner rather than later.

Okay, let us see. What about my weight loss journey and how people treated me so differently. I think that could be an interesting essay, but you want to make sure it's not just that Like I wouldn't say do an intersection, or, um, or talk about like, maybe it was like your relationship with your parents as well. Maybe this inspired you to do something or go into a specific field. Like I would say, make sure you add an other thing. So it's not just that one topic. Is it a good idea to write my personal essay about an experience I had in a cult culture, volunteer organization, organized the event, and this organization will be on my activities list? But does it sound too cliche for an essay topic? Hmm. It depends on the experience, like on the actual like, what you actually did?

I think it could, it could be good. If the essay is not just I plan this and look at it do good. Like, what what can I learn about you from this essay? Besides like, the fact that you can, like put on, like an organization or event? You know, like, were there a lot of conflicts? Did you like really struggle to get it together? Like I'm, I would say, That's more of an interesting story than just like, oh, look at this thing I put together isn't it nice. Um, but also, I want you to kind of think, bigger picture. So a lot of students or not a lot of students, a lot of like highly selective and competitive schools have you write a supplement about an extracurricular so if this extracurricular takes up all of your time, just make sure you check the essay prompts of the schools that you're applying to, because that may be a good essay, like I would say, that is a good essay topic for a like, tell me about your extracurricular supplement, which is like, somewhat common. Okay, I feel like writing about how playing board games with my great grandmother first reinforced my strong drive to succeed. It's really common topic, but in supporting memory for me, I think, I think it's not that not that common, like, I've heard it something like that once or twice. But it's not like the most common thing ever. So if you want to write about it, go ahead. But I would say add another thing to it, like, so the first. So you know how I said, there are two moments, the first moment can be like, Okay, I'm doing board games, and I need to succeed. The second moment should be a time when you implement to that, if you can come up with a very specific time, say like, I don't know, wait, actually, I'm like trying to recall an example because another student was talking about how their grandmother taught them something like to stay calm during conflict. And then the second half of their essay was about how they got into a car crash, or a car accident, not like a huge one, but a minor car accident, and how like, their grandma's advice to stay calm, like was implemented there. So it come up with another moment that you would include in that essay. So it's not just about you and your grandma. Okay, moving is cliche, however, can you discuss if you moved alone for a better application and the culture shock, I think writing an essay about moving alone, like so now you're living alone is a very unique experience. Um, but a lot of like, obviously, I don't want to like generalize people, it's kind of like what I'm doing. I'm sorry. But like, I would just say, like, culture shock is just a very like common theme, especially with people who are moving or immigrating and stuff like that. So just be really careful. I'm talking about my goal, and always helping others and tie it back to my major. Make sure you include how you got that goal. And it's not just like, I want to help people talk about a time when you actually help people, you know, and not and more than just like I volunteered at a soup kitchen, you know, because you want to show like, this is actually something I'm really interested in. Okay, not writing related. A college advisor at my school says that colleges are wanting applications due by October 15. Would you agree? No, I would not agree. Obviously, like it's good to submit sooner rather than later. And they're probably talking about either early action, which is like November 1.

But I I have not. So I didn't submit any of my regular decision applications before December. So I think it's completely fine. I would say don't wait for the last day. If you can submit like a week in advance. Like that's pretty solid. Should I always mention my major in my essay, as well as this one applying to no and no, I didn't talk about my major in any of my essays. And you should only mention this specific school. If it's like, why do you want to do this major? Why do you want to go to this school? Or if you're setting it up, so that you're writing a nonfiction type thing, and it's a perfect fourth wall break, which is like very hard to execute, but I'll talk more about fourthwall breaks later. If I have original and interesting answers to prompts you think that'd be better than writing my own essay? What do you mean by that? I'm not sure what you mean. If you mean like, you're if you mean you have like good answers to like prompts one through six, which are actual questions, go ahead and write that like as long as it's like unique and whatever. Like, that's fine. You don't have to do this. Haven't prom. Like really the prompt to choose for common app really doesn't matter. Add an idea of writing my four years of high school as seasons, is it smart to talk about three years back or only talk about recent events? I think we've talked about three years back, as long as the majority of the essay talks about who you are now, because remember, they are accepting you now, not who you were, like, five, six years ago. But But what about being a black cheerleader in a predominately white sport? Um, I, I have, okay, again, to give you like an idea of how common it is, I've had about like three black students in my DMS saying they wanted to write about being black in a predominately white sports like golf, figure skating. So it's not the most unique thing ever. But if you can, like add something else to it, so it's not just like, and this is like a pitfall that I almost like, tripped and fell into when I was writing an essay about like, being a black student. Like you don't want the essay to just be, I am black, and I am alone. Like, obviously, that really sucks. But you like we need more, we need more. What did you do? Did you bring more like black and Hispanic cheer girl like, girls to the cheer team or something like that, like, give us an action that you specifically did? Okay, let's see, how do you these are the last two I will answer for now. And then I'll like talk about more later. How do you suggest I approach writing about a mindset or belief I developed from my childhood that I still use today, because it's not a story or specific pivotal moment. And so two things, the first thing you want to do is like start with a moment in your childhood when, like you learned or your mom or dad or non like your parents, like, taught it to you or doesn't have to be taught but just like implemented it. So for example, like my dad never wanted me to lie. I can't remember when he taught me that lying was bad. But I do remember a time when I was a kid crying because I lied and I thought I was gonna get arrested. Like that could be a specific moment. And then the second moment would be a time when you implemented it and use it for something like either it could be big or small, but you want to make sure you tie it into time when you've used it because I'm sure if it's guided your whole life, you can like find a time to use it. Okay, I was in a wheelchair with a rare spine problem and after two surgeries I stuck was bad. And not only am I walking Wow. But I'm a bandleader. Wow. Good for you. We've been leader at school marching band, we had the Grand National Champions. Is that a good topic? Yeah, period. I think it's great. I think it's very unique. Oh my god. What about right is writing about what I'm passionate about a good essay topic if you talk about how you came to that passion and what you're doing with it now, but an essay about how facing colorism for pants would maybe help other people who face the same problem. So you go into a field where you underrepresented to comment. Um, it's, it's not too common. The theme is a little common, but just make sure you add like specific, like moments and stuff. Oh my gosh, I'm this gonna be a long line. I'm so sorry. What are tips you have to get to a deeper self realization that you can convey your essay or story topic. I feel like my metaphors aren't deep enough. Don't use a metaphor. If you feel like you can't come up with a good one. Don't use it. I don't use metaphors. I do a lot of black students write about or their struggle with their hair. Yes, I've had like four students talking about that. I want I went to an extremely competitive and toxic high school I tried really hard to stay true to myself and because obviously bad no wouldn't be bad. Just make sure you include specific moments that highlight the difference between you and the general culture of your school. Next slide. So mistakes while drafting I'm wearing a one direction shirt. Okay, the same style drafting. So number four out of 10 is writing a bad hook. So the hook is the first paragraph of your essay and its job is to engage the reader and introduce yourself and the topic of your essay. A good hook is memorable and gets the attention of the admissions officer and get some really excited read your essay like remember I'm the admissions officers are just people they want to enjoy themselves they like they're reading all these essays, you should just be the like burst of sunshine and they must be so happy to read your essay.

So next thing just some examples of engaging and disengaging hooks so engaging hooks be dialogue imagery, other descriptive language bold statement, interesting and relevant information. And then disengaging hooks, unrelated quotes if you're going to start close, like I don't know, a dream is a wish your heart makes or never give up. Don't do that unjustified complaints because no one wants to wants to complain or whiner, and then just some word of advice. Don't worry about the first few lines when drafting it If you feel stuck, you could write the rest of the essay and then just come back to edit the hook later. But I would say make sure you edit the hook or come up with some ideas for the hook before you like send your essay to anything else, or anyone else.

Um, and by the way, there will be a live stream on September 4, which is this Friday at 7pm ET. About how to write the Harvard University supplement. So if you guys want to join me up in Cambridge, definitely check that out. I would love to see some of your familiar faces. I mean, I don't see your faces now. But I would love to see some of you guys up in Harvard land. I think that'd be really cute.

Okay, so next mistake, if you give me your essay to edit, I will, you will probably mess this up. And that's okay. Um, it's telling and not showing. So this may manifest as reading exactly how you talk what you should not do. When you tell a story to a friend, you probably skip over a lot of the details and just report bigger events. In this essay, you have the 650 words to slow down. Always use descriptive language not always use descriptive language when talking about the specific moments, you want to share details about the setting your feelings, thought processes and experiences. And this will just make for a more engaging and unique essay.

Okay, someone said please post on Tick Tock. As a reminder, I am not posting this live, or slides. I don't think maybe I'll post the slides. I'm not sure. But this recording will be available on collegevine.com. But thank you for the reminder. Thank you guys. Okay, um, how someone and just for like telling not showing just general advice and why you should show and not tell is that, like how someone reacts to the situation is much more telling about their character than them saying, I have this trait.

Like, I am much more likely to believe that you are a leader, if you like, give me an example of you displaying leadership, if you resolve some conflict or something like that, if you motivated people, then just you saying I'm a leader, you know.

And just like a quick exercise, write your essay as if you're writing a novel and you're the main character, like during quarantine. And though there is this Tick Tock trend, we're all trying to figure out who's the main character, and I'm here to tell them that you are the main character, at least in this essay. So going, the first one I wrote by myself and the second one was actually one of the students whose essays I edited and his second draft was just so much better. Gabriel, if you're watching this, I'm so proud of you. Okay, so here is a not great example, I have loved cooking ever since I was little, I grew up watching my mother cook the food of my culture, and I want to do the same. I'm a perfectionist. So sometimes, oops, is that someone's oops, sometimes, I spent five hours trying to make the perfect flatbread. Ooh, it says you glitched out for me. Hopefully I'm not I'm not glitched out on my phone. I'm watching this live on my phone, by the way, but I think, I don't know.

So from this hook, like, obviously, you see that the topic is about like cooking. So you introduce the topic and yourself, you're a perfectionist. It's like, okay, but it's really distant, like the reader feels disconnected from the events of the essay. And it's doing a lot of telling and not showing. There are other ways to communicate your passion for cooking without explicitly saying it. And a great example of this is the essay or like clip on the right and this is like literally his words I did not like do any of this. He's so smart and talented.

315 grams of flour, two spoons of yeast, a little bit of sugar and salt. And my secret ingredient, whole milk, Greek yogurt, the combination forms of rough Shaggy, flat bread dough, which will be rolled into eight inch rounds and sat on the stove with the dress of extra virgin olive oil. So as you can see, with the essay is about cooking, and we see that the student is like very precise, because they're giving us some measurements. And they must be passionate about cooking if they have like a secret ingredient.

So as you can see this, like this hook is closely engaged, the reader is right bear with the narrator they're doing a lot of showing and not telling, like we know they're cooking without them saying it. And it's very unique, like very few students will actually include a recipe in their essay, you know.

So that's pretty good. Next thing incorrect essay length. And by the way, I think we're getting close to the end of this section, so start leaving your questions about the writing process.

So the limit for the common app essay is 650 words. And most successful essays are above 600 words, my essays were usually at the at the word limit of 650. So try as hard as you can to get to the word limit. 400 words is definitely too short. How do I contact you to review one of my essays if you do that? My email is happy Jordan s At gmail.com, or Jordan [email protected] , they are at the end of this presentation on the slide, by the way. So 400 words is definitely too short, I would say anything that is less than 600 words is too short, you want to make sure using all the words you can. And if it's too short thing like, is your topic too specific and that you've ran out of things to say, Are you telling instead of showing or using enough descriptive language? Are you including specific moments or glossing over details, like you want to make sure that you're not doing any of these things you know, you want to, there's a nice balance between specific and then to to specific. You want to be specific enough that no one else can write the essay. But you also don't want to be too specific or that you can only write 300 words word. And then any essay that is over 650 words is too long. Like literally the common application will not let you paste or type more than 650 words. Don't include the title when you are sending your essay by the way. So just check Are any of your sentences or paragraphs redundant? Are they like repetitive? Are there any moments when you can simplify your wording? Is your essay focused? Or are you trying to cover too many topics? Is this essay about you someone else? Or both? Do a paragraph by paragraph breakdown and ask like where are you using the most words? And like does that align with your goals of the essay? Remember, this all goes back to planning ahead. So questions while drafting so hooks and writing strategies, I will check this. I say or not my essay my emails happy to Jordan [email protected] . So for several minutes, is it okay to be more telling than showing due to the word limit?

Yes. Especially if the supplement is like 300 words, I think 300 words you can do like a little showing moment. And then like telling, but when it comes to supplements, like why this major or like why the school if they're really really short, like 200 words, 175 words, go ahead and tell like you don't want to waste words and stuff like that. But leave your questions. Keep leaving your questions. Like for my for my extracurricular supplement that was 175 words. I don't think I did any showing besides like little personality lines, like besides lighting behind my favorite superhero, like things like that. But I didn't do any showing Actually, I'm going to take a sip of water all you guys type.

But yeah, any questions, I will pop them or any questions pop up, I will ask or answer them. And the next thing, but let's push on through towards the last section. So mistakes made while editing and submitting. So number seven is in cohesive writing. And this is something that is kind of like in writing 101. This These aren't like as common as mistakes. Oh, I see some questions. How do you show being shy? introverted is a positive by giving by providing specific moments when your introversion or shyness has helped you. So for example, like I don't know if it's actually true for you, I'm just making this up off the top of my head, like introverts may like they're not going to speak as much. So they may be a lot more careful about what they say and how they say things. This may be really advantageous in a debate, maybe you're not going to be the most like vocal person in the debate. But you're definitely going to have something that's like most worthwhile sharing. Or maybe you are really good at having these emotional heart to heart, like hearts hearts with your friends, because you thrive in a like, closer like one on one setting rather than the group setting. So if you can provide a specific example, I think that would really help in personal essays, when writing the hooks, is it necessary to provide context? No, not initially, you want to make sure you're providing enough context for the reader to understand what's going on. But you don't have to, like burden us with all these details, you know. So, for example, I was reading an essay about a student, a teacher was pronouncing a student's name, like all they said was like they gave the line of dialogue. They said, My teacher said, My classmates looked at me with just those simple phrases, we understand that they're in a classroom and that the teacher is about to mispronounce their name. And that's like all the information we need, you know, so you don't have to give us like, every little detail just enough for us to understand the story. So in cohesive writing, cohesive essays are easier and more enjoyable to read, because it could be as when you're reading, like, you may notice this when you're reading a book or another essay, if an essay is kind of jumping around, and you don't really see how things are connected. Instead of focusing on the actual content, you're going to be thinking, How in the world does this actually connect? How is this relevant? Why do I care about this? And that obviously takes attention away from what actually matters, which is your content. So in cohesive writing mainly shows up in two ways. The first one is no transitions. So transitions show the reader how different ideas or paragraphs are related. And without them, your reader will wonder why switch subjects, rather than focusing on the content of essay. Transitions can be as short as like one or two sentences, or as long as a whole paragraph. So it really just depends on how well or obvious the connection is between these two ideas. The second thing is inconsistency. your essay should be the same point of view and tense throughout first person past tense is like the safest most common choice. There's nothing wrong with that. Your writing style should also be consistent. So don't use extremely complicated vocabulary in one paragraph, and then very simple language in the next, just write in your natural style and voice and you will never go wrong. Do you have any tips for the why of supplements? Yes, research, research research, email professors. If you're like that, courageous.

Well, that was a bad hiccup, email admissions officers asking them like, what is what what traits are you looking for in a student. But something I always did was like, and I do this for preparing for my interviews as well, like, say, for Harvard, because obviously, that's when this was clear to me. Like I would look for their student organizations. And I would find the ones I really, really liked. And then I would look at who like was advising that. So for example, I'm a figure skater, I used to be a figure skater and I wants to figure skating club. And it turns out that both of the coaches was a figure skating team, or club team, whatever. were former team USA ice skaters, which is like a very, very high honor. And I could talk

about that in my interview. And that shows like, I'm really interested, like all this, all the great people at Harvard, but don't just focus on individuals, because individuals can come and go. So talk about classes, talk about specific programs that you'd be interested in. So just do a lot of research. And don't include anything that you can find on the brochure. So obviously, students may have the question, How do I know if my writing is in cohesive? So here's a quick exercise, not really quick, but here's the exercise you can do. Once you finish your first or second draft, go paragraph by paragraph and answer these questions in the margins. This is something that I actually do with the essays that I edit. So how does this relate to the previous paragraph? Do I illustrate the connection here? Or later in the essay? If it's later in the essay, that's okay. But just make sure your readers and going too long without knowing like, What's going up? What is the main idea of this paragraph? Does it align with the central theme of his essay? What point of view? Is this written? And what tense? What form? Is this paragraph are in it? Is it narrative or creative? is a distant or close and engaging? Is it informative or persuasive? Like just make sure it's somewhat consistent throughout? does this relate to the next paragraph? And are the ideas or themes in this paragraph mentioned somewhere else? That's probably the most important one. Just so you know, answers should be the same or very, very similar in each paragraph. Do you prefer simplicity or bigger vocabulary that I would not normally use in my everyday life? use simple words, don't use words that you would not use in your everyday life, because chances are, you will use them incorrectly. And ayoze can tell like if you're just forcing words in there, like they're not looking for. And I think this is this the next slide?

No, but I will talk about this a little bit more later. They're not looking for the most beautiful prose or most complicated language ever. They're just looking for a good story, you know? Are you willing to edit the common app essay for seniors? Yes, I do edit common app essays, email me at Happy Jordan [email protected] . Or Jordan sent Jordan dot [email protected] . My emails aren't the end of this presentation, which we're getting close to. So writing in the incorrect form. And I kind of mentioned this earlier with five paragraph essays and conclusions. So the common app essay is most similar to a narrative or memoir, which is a short personal story. And many students have little to no experience writing essays on this form. And that's completely okay. You're not alone. It's really just your teachers not giving you creative writing assignments, that's fine. But you should keep in mind that this is not a five paragraph essay, you will not have an introduction, nor will you have a conclusion in the traditional sense, sense. Your introduction will be the hook, whether that's like dialogue, descriptive language, imagery, whatever. And the conclusion will just be a nice short wrap up like literally a few sentences that may talk about where you're going in the future.

And remember, this is not a thought piece either, especially when it comes to the prompt that's like, oh, talk about like, an idea that you disagree with or a lesson you learn. Like, you shouldn't just be writing a speculative piece like you want to include specific moments of your life. This will ground the essay so it's not just feeling like up in the air and lofty and I'll also help the reader get to know you better.

So to help you get past this and make sure right In the correct form, before you write your first draft watch videos on YouTube, like literally Google like reading my common app essay.

To get an idea of how successful essays are written, I personally have a few of these essays on my YouTube channel. I think if you look like happy Jordan, or the Phoenix or Harvard, like, it'll come up.

But I read my essays, a whole bunch of students have read their essays, binge watch these, don't copy their essays don't copyright language, it's just for you to get an idea of how that essay should go. So then the next thing this kind of aligns with us this question about language, not sounding like yourself is a big, big issue. So the admissions officer is not expecting, nor do they want to read the most beautiful prose and most intelligent language, they want to read an essay by you and about you. So always write your essay. Like that should even be a question. So write the essay yourself and don't include words you don't use regularly, you may miss use a word, if you use the source, I have done that, too. You don't need big fancy words to impress the admissions officers, your character and your story will impress them for you. And along the same route of your essay should center a brown around who you are today. Like it's okay to write about something that happened in elementary middle school. But the bulk of the essay should should have happened between 10th and 12th grade ideally, like if you're talking about an event that happened in middle or elementary school, that can be your hook. That could be a really short moment, maybe you could talk about my parents have always done this growing up. But you don't want to make that the whole essay. Because the admissions team wants to accept who you are. Now, today, you're going on campus next fall, they don't want to know who you were like eight years ago, unless it's like relevant to who you are today. And then the last one, I actually have a little bonus, so don't hop off too fast. But what the 10th mistake I have is reusing the wrong essays.

So throughout the application process, you will write like several essays, you'll have personal statement supplements, and some but not all of these can be used. When I was applying, I applied to 17 schools by the way, like I wrote 10,000 words worth of supplements, which is a lot, but some of those are use. So admissions officers can tell when you're using an essay you shouldn't do like you should ever use. It shows carelessness lack of interest in the school and admissions officers want to accept students who are likely to attend, they want to accept students who want to go. So before writing any other supplements, copy and paste all the prompts you have to write in a single Google Doc. And then take inventory of how many essays you'll actually have to write and how many you can reuse. Well, Jordan, which essays Can I reuse? Well, I'm glad you asked. Because here's a slide explaining which ones you can reuse. If I were you, I would screenshot this slide because it's just so nice, like quick resource. So your common app or personal statement, yes, always reuse this, unless this is unless your essay talks about why you're interested in your major. And the college you're applying to has a supplement asking about your academic interest, because you don't want to repeat yourself throughout the application.

So in this case, I would say use a modified version of your original CommonApp essay as a supplement, and then write a new, completely unrelated combat essay. For me, I just chose not to write about my major in any of my essays, unless they explicitly asked me, because it's just not cute. How will admissions officers know an essay is reused. So this kind of goes to like, why this school? So if so, like, let's think about the Ivy's like Harvard, Yale, and Princeton specifically, all of those are liberal arts colleges in like college towns, and they have like specific campus cultures that are like kind of somewhat similar. They don't have Greek life. Like those are all very basic similarities. If you're writing an essay that's like it, say this is some kids essay. I want to go to Harvard because they have amazing professors. I love the housing system. I think it really fosters community amongst the students. The grass is always green, the campus is beautiful, and it's not too far from home. There isn't Greek life, they have all these other opportunities. They have great undergraduate research programs, like an admissions officer will know that you're reusing that essay, because that's true of Harvard and Yale and Princeton and Dartmouth and like all these other places, and essay that you cannot reuse an essay that they know is unique is like, I want to go to Brown University because Jim gates teaches there, Jim gates teaches a course or does research on supersymmetry, I'm really interested in physics.

Brown also has a specific program called stars that supports underrepresented minorities going into STEM. So both of those one of those is true Brown, the other one isn't, but that was just like random example. Um, you see, I'm mentioning some civic professors, it'd be even better if I mentioned a specific course like, say, K through 12. Equity and excellence like that's, of course here at Harvard. Like if I'm mentioning a specific course, a professor and a program, like that's something that you cannot reuse, and the admissions officer knows that. So why the school like always be careful with that, why this major, you can use some parts of it, but you should also include information about the specific program each college offers to support students in that major, elaborate on an extracurricular Yeah, you can always read that one, unique aspects about your background and contributions to campus. You can use some some parts of it, but not all. Just make sure being specific about the programs you participate in on campus. Make sure you start to comment your questions, by the way, because we're getting towards the end, and then extremely open ended prompts, you can reuse the essay, but change the college's name if you mention it. Like my you, Chicago and Harvard essay were the same, so I had to like change you Chicago to Harvard. And then bonus, always proofread your work like the essays are super important. Super important part of your application, as we said is 25 to 30%. And they are the last thing you can control so you should treat them as such, you should proofread and have your English teacher proofread your essay for punctuation and grammar mistakes, spelling incorrect or incomplete sentences, run on sentences, switching tenses, etc.

Incorporating dialogue into your essay, you should always start a new paragraph every time there's a new speaker. Um, I've noticed I've been editing a lot of essays I know. So that's something not a lot of students know. And just not proofreading your work shows a lack of effort and care. So you want to start and finish your essays early to avoid feeling rushed. So Oscar was asking how do I submit supplemental essays and you can do this. Also amaze you pronounce my name. I actually have a friend at Barnard Her name is awsa. So that's how I pronounce it. But yeah, also is really cool. I love her. But you submit it through the common application, if they are a school on the common app. Or if you're applying through their specific portal, like the UCS have their own portal. They like they'll have a like box. It's like, pick a prompt or like, here's our prompt, and then they'll have a text box. Let us see what questions Is it important to have demonstrated interest in the essay? When it comes to a Why us? Yes, but I wouldn't say demonstrate it interest. Like I went to all of your info sessions.

And I'm going to switch to the next slide. So you can see my emails, like demonstrated interest isn't just like, oh, like I went to your info sessions, you can see demonstrated interest to all the research a student has done. What are the most unique college essays you have read about? Hmm. So the most unique ones. I think one of them was an essay, I was reading and reading essay as editing this summer. And as I student named dates or data, if you're watching this, I love your essay, it was about how their relationship with their grandmother strengthened over lottery tickets, which I thought was like really cute. Another one that I read and really liked was, oh my gosh, is actually my favorite one of all time. So a student actually talked about how they had a crush on someone. And how because they had this crush on this boy, they joined all the activities he was in like they joined the sports team like soccer. I think it was a joint student government because he was in student government. And he ran for student president. So she ran for student president too. And then eventually he dropped out because he was like, Oh, she's gonna be a really great student President, I support her. And I thought that was such an interesting essay. Because usually I would say don't talk about romance because you're a teenager who wants to read about teenage romance. But I just thought that was a very interesting and unique essay.

Another one that I really liked is how someone playing Legos with their little brother led to them wanting to be an engineer, which I thought was really cute. Um, I haven't read the Costco or pizza essay. Oh my gosh, one of my other favorites. And this the last year I haven't mentioned is, um, someone was applying. So for my high school's applying to you Chicago edu and they got in. And their essay was written in the style of Dr. Seuss. And they talked about how language is classes. And I just thought that was like, mind blowing. Like, obviously, it's not like the traditional like, here's my comment essay.

And this is a challenge I've overcome, but I thought it was a really unique essay. Okay, let's see what other questions we got. How important are stats like receiving receiving awards elected leadership, so stats like grades, that's like a third or less like 27.5 I think under COVID. But course rigor like means more than like GPA now. And then awards, I would say aren't that important because like, not every school has an NHS and not every school awards. Not every school distributes awards before senior year like I do, I had an award for my PSAT score, or si p one of those two and I was an NHS, but I didn't have any other words because my school gave awards at graduation, is it and then for leadership, I think it's important to have a leadership position that kind of goes in extracurriculars. extracurriculars is also like 25 to 27.5% of your profile. I think being involved like seriously involved is more important than leadership per se, but if you're seriously involved you probably have a leadership position.

Is it dumb to include one of the reasons you want to attend is because your dad did we have a legacy student? Um, maybe you could mention that as a quick thing.

Okay. actually talking about my friend asked them who goes to Barnard. So my essay Barnard's like, why do you want to come here? Why should we accept you?

And I basically went over this topic of like, awesome, I said, I was like a Barnard woman. And I didn't really know what that was. Now, I understand that Barnard women are strong, empowered, curious, like all these things.

If you wanted to spin it like that, I think jack was your name. Um, a friend named jack was also like a sea suit. But if you want to submit your essay like that, I think that's completely okay. But you can't just say, Oh, my dad was so I want to go because fantasy family legacy. Like, you want to make sure you're saying other things, revealing more information about yourself? Can I incorporate a short quote in Spanish and then explain what it means in English? Yes, you can. I thank you so much for taking the time to do this for us. Um, the problem with submitting a poem layout or unconventional essay be unique or wrong. So for that, I would say just be careful. It really depends on the character of the school and just campus culture. So if you're applying to you, Chicago or Stanford,

I would say submit a poem, like submit a poem. I think that would be great. I think that's a genius. If you're submitting because like those, Stanford is like, ooh, we're cool and quirky. And so as you Chicago so they want like, weird, quirky people, and they want students to take a risk. And that's a complete, like, great example of that. If you're applying to say like Cornell, like just regular Princeton regular, like not to say that you're going to get rejected, I don't think you will be. But I just think you just have to be careful. You know, I'm not a question. Just want to say your hair is, thank you. It's Krishna is writing that how I helped a church in Mexico or how I'm an overachiever, a good essay topic, as long as it's not like, "Oh, I went to Mexico to help the poor children. I am so good. Please, like give me a gold star" because that's never that's never good. You know? Which high school did you go to? In which state so I went to the Bronx High School of Science in New York City. It's a specialized High School. very engaging and informative. Thank you. Thank you. How do you know if there's a college search tool for IB or Dino's are cautious to for IB students, I saw that acceptances considered differently for IB students, I actually do not know. But, um, if you go on big future.collegeboard.org I think it is.

You can like filter through like different things. And there may be like a filter for IB. And then like, if not just like look at the school's list of schools you're interested in and then do research for those specific ones. Like just to see but yeah, I'm sorry I didn't have a specific answer that but thank you guys so much for listening. It's nine o'clock my bedtime is 930 so I'm about to hop off. The recording for this will be uploaded within 24 hours of this ending. But yeah, thank you guys so much for joining me. I will see you guys follow me on whatever on Tick tock, I guess if you're here, like that's how you know me from but yeah, so nice talking to you guys.

And I will see you guys eventually later.

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Bad College Essay Examples: 5 Essay Mistakes To Avoid

avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Grades, GPA, and transcripts are important components when applying to college. But numbers only tell part of the story. The  college admissions essay  plays a much more powerful role in telling your personal story to college admissions officers. So while university admissions departments may set initial cut-offs based on numbers, they make their final decision based on your college personal statement essay.

At Wordvice, we know college admissions essays. Every year, we receive tens of millions of words to edit from students applying to college. Therefore, we know what good college essays, bad college essays, and great college essays look like–and what students should do in their essays to get the attention of admissions officers.

Here we will cover  how to write a good college personal statement  by looking at some  common college admission essay mistakes to avoid  and discuss ways to improve your college application essays.

What does a good college application essay look like?

Before looking at some essay mistakes to avoid (or “bad college essays” to be a bit more blunt), let’s discuss what a good admissions essay does. Effective college personal statements give broad, comprehensive insights into your personal and academic background, provide college admissions counselors with an overview of your goals, and answer the college prompt directly and clearly. 

One of the best ways to learn how to write a good college application essay is to look at what successful students wrote.  

Check out a few powerful  examples of successful personal statements  so you can recognize what a great college application essay looks like. Reading examples of college essays can help you to understand exactly what college admissions officers are looking for.

bad college essay examples

Useful Tips on How to Write a College Admissions Essay

Once you take a look at what some successful college essay examples look like, the second step should be looking at some useful tips and checklists. This will help organize your college essay writing process, so look at these tips  before  you start writing and check them off as you go. 

  • Quick Tips to Conquer the College Application Essay
  • Six Tips for Proofreading your College Admissions Essay

Why it’s Important to Avoid Mistakes in Your College Essay

Even if you include all of the above positive tips in your college application essay, you still need to be aware of and avoid common college application essay mistakes. The importance of this cannot be understated. 

Negativity bias  is the concept in psychology that people will remember, dwell on, and act upon unpleasant thoughts and emotions as compared to positive or correct ones. Therefore, applicants should focus on the positive and productive elements of their personal narrative in the essay, even if this story includes some negative events or circumstances.

What does this mean for your college application essay?

Your personal statement is not only scanned by AI-powered grammar and spell checker apps to weed out simple mistakes outright, they are also read, interpreted, and graded by real human college admissions officers. These are seasoned professionals who will reject your college essay for any reason they deem fit. 

Randi Heathman, an independent education consultant, gives a clear summary of  why application essays are rejected :

Weak essays get skimmed. If a student’s essay isn’t great OR good, the admission officer will probably just skim past the essay and move right on to your transcript and your test scores to evaluate your candidacy for admission. Bad essays don’t get read. Period. A bad essay will prompt an admission officer to assume one of two things: 1) either you don’t care enough about your future at their school to take the time to write a good essay or 2) you aren’t academically up to attending their college or university. Neither of those assumptions will help you get admitted.

Do you see a theme here? Your college admissions essay needs to not only engage in and answer the prompt but also not give admissions officers any reasons to discard it. 

For this reason, students must actively  avoid the following college admissions essay mistakes.

Common College Essay Mistakes To Avoid

Below is a list and analysis of the types of mistakes to avoid on your college personal statement and avoid writing a bad college essay that will likely NOT get you into your program of choice.

bad college essay examples, broken plate metaphor

Your Application Essay Repeats the Essay Prompt

Many universities have strict word counts that are designed to make the admissions process more efficient but also force you to write concisely. 

For example,  Villanova University has two application essays . The free choice essay is limited to 250 words while its “Why Nova?” essay is limited to just 100 words! 

So if you really want to ruin your chances of admission, repeat the essay prompt. Veteran college admissions officers will instantly trash your essay. It shows laziness and is interpreted as you not respecting their time. You need every opportunity to show who you are, your goals, and how you align with your target university. The best students have plenty to write about, and so should you.

Your Application Essay Uses Cliches

One of the biggest mistakes to avoid in your college admissions essay would be including tired clichés that don’t add interesting points or content. Don’t try to sound profound, exclusive, or postmodern in your writing. This will be obvious to the reader, and you probably will also not be the best writer or candidate on paper they have seen. What’s actually important is to demonstrate your self-awareness, your self-confidence, and your priorities and goals. 

Trying desperately to sound special will make you end up sounding like every other applicant, and admissions officers are experts at spotting fakes. You have plenty of resources to work with. Make sure your ideas are your own.

Example of clichés in an essay

When explaining a personal setback or a difficult decision, instead of writing, “This event was a disparate result antithetical to my character,” show some personal ownership and be straightforward. Here is a better way to phrase this sentiment:  “This is a decision I am not proud of, but it helped me learn a valuable lesson and put me in a better place today. Without this formative experience, I wouldn’t be the kind of person who applies myself in every challenging circumstance.”  

Need extra help improving your essay writing? Check out these  14 tricks to make your writing clearer and more engaging :

writing tips for essays

Your Admissions Essay Shares Too Much Personal Information

You have probably read everywhere that your personal statement should be, well, personal. Colleges want to get to know not just your academic background but also your personal worldview and interactions with successful people. 

This doesn’t mean you should discuss deeply personal issues at length or in too great of detail. Even controversial topics such as religion and politics are often welcomed if your perspective is well reasoned and fair. However, you must be able to demonstrate you can respect, recognize, and maintain personal boundaries. That is a key life skill that college admissions committees are looking for. 

Examples of sharing too much personal information

  • Don’t discuss your sexual experiences.  Your sexual orientation may be a key part of your overall identity. However, limit this by keeping out details of personal activities. Use common sense and understand that most admissions officers are members of the general public who might not respond favorably to explicit details of your personal life. 
  • Don’t confess to strange, illegal, or immoral behaviors or beliefs.  If you have a strange obsession, keep it to yourself. Only include unique aspects about your character or preferences if are key parts of how you view the world or your success as a student.
  • Don’t insult subgroups of people . You never know who your college admissions officer will be. You want to show you know how to interface with the world, and your college application is a big first step to showing your maturity and inclusive views.

Your Admissions Essay is a Sympathy Essay

This essay mistake is very similar to oversharing personal information. These types of essays are usually a long list of all the terrible things that have happened to you with the hope that the admissions committee will take pity because they feel bad for you. 

Newsflash: the “sympathy approach” likely is not going to work. A lot of prospective students have gone through the divorce of their parents, the death of a friend or family member, medical issues, disabilities, mental health issues, accidents, etc. 

If you do want to include these life-changing or identity-forming events, they must be used to explain how they shaped you as a person, what you learned, and how you handled adversity. Show how you grew as a person or how your worldview and character were altered to make you into the excellent college candidate you are today.

Examples of “sympathy essays”

  • “Everyone around me kept me from succeeding.”  Like the lyrics of an early-2000’s rock song, some application essays foreground their experiences on a canvas of pain and oppression by all the people around them. This is just self-defeating. Even if something happened that changed your plans, upset you, or harmed you in some way, reframe your story to show how you were able to shift your priorities and succeed after you learned what you were unable to do.
  • “Becoming injured my senior year ruined my plans.”  If you are an athlete and suffered a career or scholarship-ending injury, that is a big deal. But your potential doesn’t just disappear because of a setback. Whatever events and influences made you who you were before are still more important than a single unfortunate occurrence in your past. 

stanley from the office, bad college essay examples

Your Application Essay Gives You All the Credit

While you may have top SAT scores, a high GPA, and lots of awards, don’t forget this one simple truth: there are always bigger fish in the sea. No matter how good of an applicant you are, there will be someone better based on whatever metric you are proud of. 

So what should you write about in your college application essay to stand out from the many overachievers?

Try humility and perspective. Don’t forget to give credit where credit is due. No person is an island, so in your essay you can give recognition to those who helped you along the way. Try not to belittle or minimize the contribution of your high school teachers or mentors. Admissions counselors, as educational professionals, will be looking to see if you are ready to interact with the next level of academic educators. So including friends, family members, and mentors who helped you grow and develop could be a good topic for your college personal statement.

Examples of “giving yourself all the credit” in an essay

  • “I was valedictorian and did it all by myself.”  You should be proud of your academic achievements, as they are important for your college application among other goals. However, give credit to someone who helped you learn. You didn’t teach yourself!
  • “In the end, I found the only person I could rely on was myself.”  Some students come from very tough backgrounds, and so it can be tempting for these students to stress this in their essay. But remember that college admissions offices want you to add value to the university community as a college student at their school. Even the smartest students cannot do this if they fail to acknowledge the contributions of others. 

Your Personal Statement Has Not Received Proofreading or Editing

A sure way to get your college essay thrown aside is to have it full of grammar and spelling mistakes. The college admissions process is very competitive, and you need every edge you can get. You should spend a substantial portion of your essay preparation editing and proofreading after writing your personal statement.

Start by reviewing and revising the essay yourself. Read it aloud. Run it through a couple of online spelling and grammar checkers. And start early on each college application–at least two weeks before the application deadline. You should also consider giving your admissions essay to a friend, parent, or teacher to review. This can help you improve your essay in many ways because other people can give quite different perspectives. 

Check out the  Benefits of Peer Review vs Self-Editing .

Finally, you should look into using an application essay proofreading and editing service to revise and improve your application essay. Just as peer review is superior to self-editing alone, professional proofreading services and application essay editing services are superior to peer review. The hard truth is that too many other students (your competition) are going above and beyond in preparing these important essays. Being short on time and expertise makes using an editing and proofreading service a good solution.

How Does Wordvice Improve Your College Application Essay?

Wordvice editors  are required to have graduate or postgraduate degrees. This means you are getting guaranteed expertise compared to other services, which typically only require editors to hold a bachelor’s degree. Wordvice is also among the top-rated  essay editing services  and personal statement editing services by Wired.com. We achieved this recognition by following the  Wordvice Customer Promise . That means providing value to every student and every personal statement we edit. 

Additional Admissions Essay Steps to Take

We hope you learned a lot from these examples of successful college personal statements. So what’s next?

I want to learn more about the college admissions process

Interested in learning more tips from experts about the college admissions process, personal statements, or letters of recommendation? Check out the  Wordvice Admissions Resource blog .

I am interested in professional editing for my personal statement

We also got you covered! Check out our  English editing services to get started on improving your college essays. Or jump straight in and use our  editing price calculator to get an editing price quote and start the ordering process.

avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Unlock the Secrets to Crafting a Standout College Admissions Essay: Avoid These Common Mistakes!

TUN Research Team

Writing a college admissions essay can be a daunting task, as it is the one piece of your application that allows you to showcase your personality and unique qualities. This is your opportunity to stand out among thousands of other applicants and impress the admissions committee. However, with the pressure and stress of college applications, students often make mistakes that can significantly impact their chances of being accepted into their dream school.

Avoiding these common mistakes can help you craft a strong and compelling essay that will give you an edge in the admissions process.

  • Procrastination: One of the most common mistakes students make is waiting until the last minute to start working on their essays. Writing a quality essay takes time and effort, and rushing through it will result in a subpar submission. It is essential to give yourself enough time to brainstorm, write multiple drafts, and edit your essay thoroughly.
  • Not following instructions: Admissions essay prompts often come with specific instructions and word limits. Failure to follow these guidelines shows a lack of attention to detail and can reflect poorly on your application. Make sure to read and understand the instructions carefully before starting your essay.
  • Using a generic and clichéd approach: Admissions officers read countless essays, and they can quickly spot a generic and clichéd essay. Avoid using clichéd phrases and stories that have been told numerous times. Instead, be authentic and focus on unique experiences and perspectives that make you stand out.
  • Not showcasing your personality: The purpose of an admissions essay is to give the admissions committee a glimpse into your personality, interests, and values. It is not the place to list your achievements and accolades (that is what your resume is for). Use your essay to tell a story that showcases your character and what makes you unique.
  • Grammatical and spelling errors: A well-written essay shows attention to detail and excellent writing skills. Grammatical and spelling errors can significantly impact the overall quality of your essay and leave a negative impression on the admissions officers. It is crucial to proofread your work multiple times and, if possible, have someone else read it as well.

Tips for Writing a Strong College Admissions Essay

  • Start early: As mentioned earlier, writing a solid essay takes time. Starting early allows you to brainstorm, write multiple drafts, and seek feedback from teachers or counselors.
  • Be authentic: The best essays are those that are personal and true to the writer. Avoid trying to be someone you are not, and focus on being genuine and sincere in your writing.
  • Tell a story: Instead of listing your achievements and activities, use your essay to tell a story that showcases your growth, challenges, and accomplishments. This will make your essay more engaging and memorable.
  • Use specific examples: Specific examples and details can make your essay more compelling and give the admissions officers a better understanding of who you are. Avoid vague statements and be as specific as possible.
  • Edit and proofread: As mentioned before, grammatical and spelling errors can hurt the overall quality of your essay. Make sure to edit and proofread your work carefully, and ask for feedback from others as well.

Avoiding these common mistakes and following these tips can significantly improve your chances of writing a strong and successful admissions essay. However, if you need further guidance and insights, TUN AI is an excellent resource to utilize. TUN AI , an ethical and free platform, uses artificial intelligence to analyze college application essays and provides personalized suggestions and feedback to improve your essay. Utilizing TUN AI can give you that extra edge and ensure that your essay stands out among the rest.

Final Thoughts

Writing a college admissions essay can be stressful, but it is also an opportunity to showcase your unique qualities and stand out in a sea of applicants. Avoiding common mistakes and following these tips can help you craft a strong and compelling essay that represents who you are. Remember to stay true to yourself and use your essay to tell a story that reflects your personality and experiences. And don’t forget to check out TUN AI for personalized insights and tips to improve your essay. Best of luck in your college admissions journey!

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avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

5 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Writing Essays

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Jordan Sanchez in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered:

Essay length, cohesive writing, reusing essays.

In this post, we discuss mistakes to avoid when writing your college essay . For more information, check out this post about how to write this year’s Common App essays . 

A common college essay mistake is writing an essay that’s too short. For example, the word limit for the Common App essay is 650 words, and you should try as hard as you can to reach that number. A 400-word essay is definitely too short. Make sure you’re using all the words available to you.

If you’re having difficulty meeting the word limit, your essay topic may be too specific. Also, you may not be including enough details or descriptive language. Conversely, if your essay is too long, you may have sections that could be simplified. Look for any areas where the writing may be repetitive or redundant. Consider whether your essay is too broad. Are you trying to cover multiple topics? It can be helpful to break down your essay paragraph by paragraph and ensure that everything you’ve written aligns with the goals of the essay.

Since supplemental essays tend to have low word limits, you can do more telling than showing when writing these. That said, while you don’t want to waste words, if there’s an opportunity to add a bit of personality to a supplemental essay, you should take it. 

Another common mistake is incohesive writing. Cohesive essays are easy and enjoyable to read. If an essay is jumping around and doesn’t have a clear narrative or connection between ideas, it can be distracting. The reader will be wondering what’s relevant and what they should be caring about, which takes attention away from the content and purpose of your essay.

Incohesive writing happens in two major ways. The first is when a writer doesn’t use effective transitions. These show the reader how different ideas are related, and without them, an essay can be disorganized and difficult to understand. Transitions can be as short as one or two sentences or as long as a whole paragraph.

Incohesive writing can also happen when the writer is inconsistent. Your essay should maintain the same tense, point of view, and writing style from beginning to end. Don’t use extremely complicated vocabulary in one paragraph and incredibly simple language in the next. Write in your natural style and voice, and you’ll never go wrong. 

To check the cohesion of your writing, go over your first or second draft and answer the following questions: “What is the main idea of this paragraph? Does it align with the central theme of the essay? How does this relate to the previous paragraph? Do I illustrate the connection here or later in the essay? What point of view is this written in? What about tense? Is it narrative or creative? Distant or close and engaging? Informative or persuasive?” Your answers should be the same or similar for each paragraph. 

It’s crucial to write your essay in the correct form. The Common App essay is similar to a narrative or memoir in that it’s a short personal story. Many students have little to no experience writing in this form, and if you’re one of them, that’s okay, you’re not alone.

Keep in mind that this is not a five-paragraph essay. You won’t have an introduction or conclusion in the traditional sense. Your introduction will be the hook of your essay, whether it comes in the form of dialogue, descriptive language, or imagery. The conclusion will be a short wrap-up, perhaps a few sentences in length. 

The essay isn’t a thought piece either. You shouldn’t be writing something speculative. You want to include specific personal details from your life. This will ground the essay so it doesn’t feel lofty, and it will help the reader get to know you better. 

Not sounding like yourself is a big issue in college essays. The admissions committee is not expecting the most beautiful prose or intelligent language. They want to read an essay by you and about you, so be sure to write your essay in your own voice.

Don’t include words in your essay that you don’t use regularly. You don’t need big, fancy words to impress admissions officers. Your character and your story will impress them for you. In the same vein, your essay should center around who you are today. It’s okay to write about something that happened in the distant past, but the bulk of your essay should be about events that occurred between 10th and 12th grade. Don’t talk too much about your past without connecting it back to who you are today. 

Throughout the college application process, you’ll write several essays, including personal statements and supplements. A few of these essays can be used in applications for several schools, but be careful not to reuse the wrong ones.

Admissions officers can tell when you’re reusing an essay that you shouldn’t. It shows carelessness and a lack of interest in the school and can lower your chances of admission. To avoid this mistake, before writing any of your supplemental essays, copy and paste all the prompts into a single document, and take inventory of how many you’ll actually have to write and how many you can reuse.

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

InLikeMe.com

19 Common Application Essay Mistakes and How to Avoid Them

Many students trip over common obstacles in their college application essays. For example, many students can’t see beyond the superficial prompt to construct an essay that positively communicates their personality and passion. Some students rehash their activities and achievements without adding the personal flavor, perspective and substance that admissions officers look for. Learn how to avoid these and other damaging traps.

As an independent college admissions consultant, I read many application essays and see many common application essay mistakes. Here’s some helpful advice:

  • Select the Best Topic and Subject. The Common Application, as well as many individual college applications and supplements, give students a choice of essay topics. Resist the temptation to quickly make a selection. Instead make an inventory of your key experiences and achievements, adjectives that describe you, anything significant in your background, as well as what you can potentially “offer” (e.g. athletics, music, dance) a college. Then read the options carefully and decide which topic(s) provides the best opportunity to portray your self in a desirable manner. If the application requires more than one essay, select distinct topics and subject areas so the admissions people get a broader, and more complete, picture of you. If you are an athlete, for example, try not to write more than one essay about sports.
  • Answer the Question. Read the prompt carefully and pay particular attention to two part questions. For example, if you choose to “evaluate a significant experience, achievement or risk you have taken and its impact on you”, make sure you thoughtfully and critically analyze both the situation and its impact. If you choose to “discuss an issue and its importance to you” make sure you focus on its importance to you. The admissions people are looking for a window into your character, passion and reasoning.
  • Be Personable and Specific. Colleges don’t learn much from a generic essay. If you are asked to describe your reasons for your interest in a particular school that you are applying to, make sure your essay addresses the particular features of that school that appeal to you and explain why. Brainstorm with others. Don’t be afraid to think creatively. Don’t be afraid to reject ideas! Most strong essays have more “show” than “tell”.
  • Make Your Essay The Right Length. Many prompts specify a desired number of words or a range. If it’s 200 to 250 words, don’t insert your 500 word essay. In fact, many on-line applications will not even accept more than the stated limit. If there is only an upper limit, don’t stress if your essay appears too short. Lincoln got his points across succinctly in the Gettysburg address — in less than 275 words. Be concise. Omit irrelevant details, clichés, and poorly developed ideas. Do not distract the reader with unnecessary words and repetition.
  • Watch Your Tone. If you come across as a spoiled child, a stuck-up rich kid, lazy, sarcastic or a cynic, the admissions team might decide that you are not the right fit for their school. A bit of well placed humor is fine, but don’t try to be a comedian.
  • Don’t Appear Self-Interested or Materialistic. While few applicants are genuinely altruistic, most colleges are turned off by students who appear more focused on what the school can do for them, rather than how they can benefit from the education and at the same time be a contributing member of the campus community. If you are applying to a business program, the average starting salary of recent graduates should not be your stated motivation for seeking admission!
  • Don’t Rely on Your Computer’s Spell Checker. Applicants who rely solely on their computer’s spell check program may find themselves submitting applications with poor grammar and word choice. Just because everything is spelled properly doesn’t mean it is correct. A good way to catch mistakes is to read your essay very slowly and out loud.
  • Don’t Overlook the Mundane. Some of the best and most memorable essays are based on a simple conversation between people. The impressions and takeaways from such a conversation can be extremely engaging and provide a valuable window into the personality and values of the writer. Some essays of this type center on a moment of enlightenment or illumination when the writer views life from a new perspective and/or gains new confidence.
  • Skip the Volunteer Trip. Dedicated community service over a period of time can be a strong topic for an application essay. Volunteer day at the local park, or two weeks of school building in Africa, will probably not impress the admissions committee. They see many essays of this type. Not only is it difficult to stand out from the pack, but these experiences are often more about the experience than about you, or convey that money buys opportunity.
  • Don’t Rehash the Resume. The admissions committee relies on essays to learn additional things about you such as your initiative, curiosity about the world, personal growth, willingness to take risks, ability to be self directed, motivation and ability to make the most of a situation. They are interested in your personal qualities such as leadership, confidence, ability to work in a team, strength of character, resilience, sense of humor, ability to get along with others and what you might add to the campus community. In short, use your essays to showcase a side of you not visible from other parts of the application.
  • Peruse the Entire Application. Many applications, especially for some of the more competitive schools, are complex and require multiple essays and short answers. Don’t look at each question in a vacuum, but rather view the application holistically when deciding how to best portray yourself through responding to the various prompts. For example, if you have five key areas you wish to cover, and there are five essays, try to strategically focus on one area in each essay.
  • Don’t Fall in Love with the Thesaurus. Resist the temptation to be a sesquipedalian or come across as a pedantic fop! There’s no need to use a big word in every sentence. Use caution when showing off your extensive vocabulary. You risk using language improperly and may appear insecure or overly eager to impress. Admissions people aren’t keen about picking up a dictionary to understand your essay. Worse yet, if your essay vocabulary is at a much higher level than what would be expected from your English grades and SAT/ACT scores, it may appear that your essay is not your own work. Most teenagers don’t use myriad and plethora in their daily vernacular.
  • Check Your Ego at the Door. Even if you are impressed with yourself, most admissions officers don’t respond favorably to students who brag, put down classmates, or wax eloquent about their amazing achievements. While self doubt is generally undesirable, a bit of humility can be well received, especially in an essay about overcoming adversity.
  • Accentuate the Positive. Few students have a perfect resume, which is apparent in the application. Drawing attention to weakness in an essay is generally not a good idea, unless you were able to overcome a weakness, and make it a strong suit.
  • Proofread Carefully. Don’t let your eagerness to submit an application cause you to overlook careless mistakes. Errors can doom your otherwise excellent application. Make sure you schedule sufficient time for a thorough review. When possible, have at least one other person proofread your essay. They may catch something important that you missed. For example, you don’t want to tell Ohio State that you really want to be a Wolverine!  Again, read your essay out loud.
  • Organize Your Essay. An impressive essay generally contains a strong opening, well organized content, and a powerful closing. If your essay lacks structure and seems to ramble, chances are it won’t impress the reader. Start with an outline and design your essay paragraph by paragraph. Make sure you include enough background information about whatever topic you are writing about so that the reader can put it into context. For example, one student wrote an excellent essay about a horrible first day of school, but forgot to include that he had just moved to town, from halfway around the world, and was struggling with English. Resist the temptation to run off and start writing. Experts will tell you that up-front planning of your essays is well worth the time invested. Not only will the quality of your essays be much higher, you’ll probably end up saving time in the long run!
  • Research the College Before Writing the Essay. Almost every school has its own identity and mission. Some universities even have a slogan. Others have niche areas of study that they like to promote. Pay attention to what is important to the particular school and, when appropriate, consider including it in some manner in your essay.
  • Invest in a Strong Introduction. Admissions people read a lot of essays and may not be energetic and fresh when yours reaches the top of their pile. That’s why it’s essential to attract their attention up front. It is critical that the first few sentences capture their interest. A boring opening may cause the reader to not pay close attention to the remainder of the essay. Design the introduction to draw them into your essay. A well-planned essay may omit some key details in the opening forcing the reader to pay close attention to the rest of the story.
  • Start Early and Take Your Time. Don’t wait until the last minute. Application essays almost always take longer than you anticipate. Invest the time necessary to do it right. It should be your best work. Ask others to review your drafts and offer comments and suggestions. Take comments and suggestions seriously – behind every good writer is usually at least one good editor!

Author: Lynn Radlauer Lubell is the Publisher of InLikeMe.com, and the Founder of Admission By Design , a College Consultancy, based in Boca Raton, Florida.

Lynn Lubell

Lynn Radlauer Lubell, Publisher of InLikeMe.com and Founder of Admission By Design, an Educational Consultancy based in Boca Raton, Florida.

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Last Updated: October 11, 2022 References

This article was co-authored by Jake Adams . Jake Adams is an academic tutor and the owner of Simplifi EDU, a Santa Monica, California based online tutoring business offering learning resources and online tutors for academic subjects K-College, SAT & ACT prep, and college admissions applications. With over 14 years of professional tutoring experience, Jake is dedicated to providing his clients the very best online tutoring experience and access to a network of excellent undergraduate and graduate-level tutors from top colleges all over the nation. Jake holds a BS in International Business and Marketing from Pepperdine University. There are 17 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been viewed 7,645 times.

No matter what field you're in, you will need to write an essay at some point in your life. Essays can be written in a variety of fields of study, styles, and genres. The amount of time dedicated to constructing an essay varies greatly from one assignment to the next. However, one of the ways that you can cut down on the amount of time spent writing an essay is to avoid common essay mistakes by learning how to compose an essay properly.

Pre-Writing

Step 1 Choose a topic with appropriate scope.

  • For example, you do not want to compare all of Africa to all of Asia because that topic would be too broad or too general. Instead, you might write an essay that compares the Great Wall of China and the Great Pyramids of Giza, which is focused and specific topic, and which would provide you with enough information to craft an essay that is an appropriate length.

Step 2 Start researching right away.

  • Reading books on your selected topic.
  • Browsing scholarly peer-reviewed articles on your topic. These articles can be found through your school’s library online databases and through search engines like Google Scholar.
  • Reading magazine and news articles on your topic.
  • Listening to radio interviews or podcasts about your topic.

Step 4 Avoid using sources that aren’t reputable.

  • Wikipedia [4] X Research source
  • Personal Blogs
  • Vlogs or video blogs
  • Satirical websites
  • If you do read an article from a site like Wikipedia, check out the citations provided at the end of the article. Use those sources, rather than the Wikipedia article, in your essay.

Step 1 Use the correct page layout.

  • An introduction
  • A thesis (your main argument or the main point of your essay)
  • Supporting examples
  • A conclusion

Step 3 Make sure your thesis statement is arguable.

  • An example of an arguable thesis would be: The government should decriminalize all drug use and rather than implementing punishment for people caught using drugs, a drug rehabilitation program should be put into place.

Step 4 Cite your sources properly to avoid plagiarism.

  • Avoid ambiguous words, or words that shift in meaning depending on context. [11] X Trustworthy Source US Department of Health and Human Services Federal department responsible for improving the health and well-being of Americans Go to source
  • Use words that have force or urgency by using active voice and avoiding passive voice. [12] X Research source
  • Avoid professional jargon, highly technical terminology, or overly specialized terms, unless the audience has background knowledge on the subject. If you end up using a technical term or jargon for an article intended to be understood by anyone, be sure to define and explain it in simple terms.
  • Utilize words that are understandable to a wide range of readers to avoid creating a document with an exclusionary readership, which will alienate all other readers.
  • Avoid clichés. [13] X Research source You might like the idea of a cliché because it is easy to use, but clichés are frowned upon in essays. Clichés are old and overused turns of phrase. [14] X Research source Rather than using a cliché, you should be inventive and consider a new way to say what you might have otherwise communicated as a cliché. Consider avoiding the following:

Step 7 Keep your audience in mind.

  • For example, if you are writing an essay on why the sky is blue, your essay would read very differently depending upon whether you are writing it for a college professor or for a class of elementary school children. Despite the fact that the reason for the sky being blue remains the same, your writing style and the included content (technical information, citations, explanation, and examples) should differ between the two audiences.

Step 1 Streamline your content.

  • Do I follow the appropriate structure?
  • Do I have a strong thesis statement/main argument at the end of my introduction paragraph?
  • Does everything that follows my thesis statement work to support it?
  • Have I used enough outside sources?
  • Have I properly incorporated my sources into my work?
  • Have I properly cited my sources?
  • Is my essay specific in its argumentation and logic?
  • Is my writing clear and concise enough for a reader to follow without issue?

Editing and Proofreading

Step 1 Avoid grammatical issues.

Expert Q&A

Jake Adams

  • Avoid clichés. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Avoid generalizations. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Procrastination will result in stress and frustration when you have a looming deadline. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Make sure that you understand the assignment before you begin working on it to avoid confusion. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be a great essay writer immediately. Success comes with practice. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
  • Never hand in your first draft as a completed essay. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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  • ↑ http://canuwrite.com/essay_topic.php
  • ↑ http://young.scot/information/learning/how-to-do-research-for-an-essay/
  • ↑ Jake Adams. Academic Tutor & Test Prep Specialist. Expert Interview. 20 May 2020.
  • ↑ http://www.findingdulcinea.com/news/education/2010/march/The-Top-10-Reasons-Students-Cannot-Cite-or-Rely-on-Wikipedia.html
  • ↑ http://www.jessicatiffin.org/common-student-essay-errors/
  • ↑ https://www.sterling.edu/documents/academics/ThesisStatement.pdf
  • ↑ http://www.jessicatiffin.org/common-student-essay-errors/#2
  • ↑ https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/2/
  • ↑ http://www.hhs.gov/web/building-and-managing-websites/web-requests/write-in-plain-language/index.html
  • ↑ http://writing.wisc.edu/Handbook/CCS_activevoice.html
  • ↑ http://www.writersdigest.com/whats-new/10-tips-to-bypass-cliche-and-melodrama
  • ↑ http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/education/grammar/how-to-avoid-clichés
  • ↑ http://www.gbcnv.edu/documents/ASC/docs/00000057.pdf
  • ↑ http://writingcenter.unc.edu/handouts/editing-and-proofreading/
  • ↑ http://www.time4writing.com/writing-resources/vocabulary/

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avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

National Center For College Planning, LLC

Making College Affordable

  • Aug 27, 2018
  • 11 min read

Ten College Admission Essay Mistakes - And How To Avoid Them

Improve your chances for success by avoiding these common and costly essay mistakes.

avoiding common admissions essay mistakes

Essays are one of the most important ways students can share the details of who they are with the colleges they’ve selected. Those colleges will see on the high school transcript what a person’s grades are and how much rigor they’ve taken. They’ll see the results of that person’s ACT and SAT scores and they can get a feel for what a student does in his or her free time by reviewing the activities and awards sections on the admission application and on the student’s resume. Those are all clues to what a particular student’s potential is based on their accomplishments, but nothing in the record of activities, grades, rigor, achievements, or test scores reveals who the person really is . That’s where the essay comes in and shines a light that can either be welcomed or hated.

The key here is to prepare in advance so you can take full advantage of this opportunity to impress the colleges, but surprisingly, most people don’t take the time needed to make this first impression really count. I talked a lot about how to prepare a winning essay in a previous blog post , so if you haven’t seen it yet, stop now and go over to check it out first. It will give you some foundational insights into how to build a winning essay and provide some framework for how to organize your content efficiently so you can have the greatest impact possible on your applications.

Now if you’re solid on that part and want to make sure you don’t write something that misses the mark, this article is for you. And what I’m going to share with you here is based on conversations I’ve had with Admissions counselors and on my own personal experience reviewing hundreds of college essays for colleges ranging from the Ivy Leagues all the way down. I’m sure I don’t have all of the answers, but I can assure you that if you’ll follow my guidance here, you’ll end up with a more powerful and more influential essay that will help you get more of what you’re looking for in your college applications.

So let’s look at some of the common mistakes I see from even the brightest students, some of which claim to be very accomplished writers. The college essay is a different animal, and no matter how much you’ve written in the past, you’ll need some added direction to make your college essay really jam.

You should already have your subjects and material I told you about in the previous post ready to use and once you have your essay drafts in place, look for these 10 common mistakes - and fix them – before you send anything to anybody.

1. Not answering the essay prompt: Sometimes it’s easy to get so caught up in the story you are telling that you forget to actually answer the essay’s prompt. Don’t do that. Essay readers at the college will appreciate a good, well-written story, but if it is doesn’t address the prompt, it will fall flat and cost you bigtime. Read the prompt at the beginning of your draft and then read it again when you’re finished. If you feel satisfied that it fully addressed what the college wanted from you, then you’re probably on the right track. If not, tweak it and make adjustments until you’ve covered all of your bases here.

2. Making grammatical errors and typos: It would seem to some that being thorough and careful when it comes to avoiding typos and mistakes would be a given with your college essay, but I see dumb mistakes in people’s essays all the time. We encourage students to write their essays early in the process and then walk away from them for a while so when they do come back, the material will be fresher – and their ability to catch mistakes will be enhanced. Edit and edit some more, but as you go, read the entire essay out loud, yes, verbally out loud, so you can better spot any mistakes, omissions, or errors. Once you feel like you have a version you can be proud of, let someone else read it fresh for the first time. They won’t know the thought process behind what you’ve written and they won’t infer things like tone and implied meaning into your material. Let them give you honest feedback and make any changes that add clarity or improve the emphasis your points are making.

3. Talking about someone else other than you: I’ve mentioned before that a great essay is much like an entry into a storytelling contest. And sometimes your story involves other people or it overlaps with their story in a way that requires you to tell about them so the reader can more fully understand your story. That’s perfectly logical, but remember this is your time to shine. Don’t use too much of your precious essay real estate talking about someone else. Use their story to provide context only and focus on telling your story as the featured presentation.

4. Using overly fluffy language: I’ve seen numerous college essays that were obviously written with a thesaurus nearby, and while having a strong vocabulary is good, using every word you can think of in your college essay can be a bit too much. Colleges want to see that you possess good command of the English language and you can do that by varying sentence structure and using appropriate vocabulary terms to describe the story you are conveying. It can be simple as long as it isn’t simplistic. And it shouldn’t read like Shakespeare or require the reader to look up the meanings of any words. That’s distracting for most college essay readers. Even at Ivy League colleges, overusing fluffy vocabulary words can cast a negative light on your essay. Aim for clarity and richness in your writing, not an abundance of overblown unnecessary jargon that you think makes you look smarter than you really are. The admission officers at these colleges are professionals. They know the difference between fluff and the real stuff.

5. Not writing enough or writing too much: This is a tricky one, but following the steps I gave you in the last blog post will help you steer through this one too. Some colleges have long limits on their essays and some are actually unlimited, although I can’t imagine the person who has to read those essays really voted for that to be a part of the deal when they designed the school’s application! Let’s look at an example. Let’s say you have an essay prompt that gives you 750 words to work with and let’s say that it is the central essay in their application, so you want to tell your best, most impactful story as you answer their prompt. I sometimes see students write 150-200 words for an essay like this and think they’re done. While you can say some very meaningful things in shorter essays, don’t be tempted to cut things off too soon. Expand your story and go deeper while you have the chance.

You may also be able to tie in two stories with similar or complementary themes for longer essays, especially if they don’t give you opportunities to share that information anywhere else on their application. On the other hand, don’t feel like you have to keep writing just because you have space left. When the story is over, stop writing. Being concise, but complete, is a good thing too. Find the right balance between length and completeness and add meaningful examples wherever you can to round out your best points. You can go all the way up to the last word they give you if you need it, but for longer essays that’s often not needed.

6. Writing about things that are not true: The colleges don’t have time to fact check everything you say in your college essay. After all, it’s a writing assignment, not a deposition. But, as a general rule, you should write about something that is for the most part factually true. You can embellish the details, change the timing or order of how things happened, and creatively connect the dots to help make your point or your story flow better, but don’t just pull something out of the sky and try to pass it off as your college essay. Like I mentioned before, these college Admission folks are pros and they can spot a phony when they see one.

7. Copying someone else’s essay: This mistake is a lot like the one I just covered. Your essay needs to be your own. The colleges won’t necessarily know how, or when, or if something is actually true, but they can spot a fraud and I’m sure you don’t want to risk being overlooked because they felt like you tried to cut a corner using someone else’s essay. I’ve worked with siblings a couple of years apart who wanted to use the older sibling’s Common App essay for the same prompt with the younger sibling’s application. I’ve always advised against doing things like that. I think it’s fine to use someone else’s essay as a guide or as an example so you can model their framework. But, you need to write your own college essay yourself. Don’t use a friends or try to copy something you found online. That’s a risky move and we are trying to remove risk from your college application process by making wise choices, not add risk to it.

8. Using humor inappropriately or being negative or condescending to another person or group of people: Humor is a great tool to use in speeches and in essay IF and only if you can pull it off well. And that’s extremely hard to do. For most people, the best advice I can give is add something light-hearted to your essay if it is appropriate for the story your telling, but stay away from trying to be funny or tell jokes. You don’t know who will be reading it and you probably have a greater likelihood of seeing your efforts fail than blowing them away with your amazing sense of humor. A smile or a brief laugh can go a long way to making your essay enjoyable and memorable, but approach humor respectfully and with caution. And use it sparingly, if you’re going to use it at all.

Comedians who write humorously often test their lines on multiple audiences and refine their delivery, word choices, and inflection many times to get the final version you see or hear. It usually doesn’t start out nearly as funny and you can’t afford to bomb on your college application because the person reading your essay “didn’t get it.” The same goes for any sarcastic or snide remarks about broad groups of people or about any one person individually, blatant or otherwise. If you have to write about something negative or a negative experience to answer the essay’s prompt, tread lightly and spin the story in a positive light to reflect something affirmative about you. It’s always better to take the high road, especially if you have to put something in writing. This goes for your college essays too.

9. Being vague and too general: Most top students have a list of impressive accomplishments, but they may have never had the opportunity to talk about them. So, they cut their teeth on telling their story in their college applications – with everything riding on their ability to do a good job. That’s not entirely their fault, but in order to accurately share the essence of what has made them excel and rise to the top, they have to be able to share specific details about themselves and their accomplishments in a way that sounds natural and convincing. Listing a bunch of “I’m this and I’m that” kind of stuff won’t work. And saying things like, “I’ve learned many things over the years as a volunteer in my community” are just too vague to make any impact.

Whenever I see something like this last statement, I always write or ask, “like what?” Show me specifics. Let me give you an example. Take the sentence, “I’ve learned many things over the years as a volunteer in my community” and make it more specific by saying something like, “Serving hundreds of underprivileged people in my community has been a life changing experience for me because meeting the needs of others has helped me become more compassionate, more generous, and more thankful for the blessings and opportunities I’m so fortunate to have.” Do you see the difference?

Saying you’ve learned “many things” means nothing, but taking the specific approach I’m giving you says a lot more. It says you volunteer to help people who are struggling. It implies that you’re a dedicated person because you probably didn’t reach that many people with just one or two visits to a homeless shelter. It says you’re a compassionate, sensitive person who is thankful, generous and mature enough to be aware of how good you have it compared to others who aren’t as fortunate as you. There’s a lot in that second sentence and it’s exactly the kind of stuff you want to have in your college essay. Be specific because the colleges are choosing specifically which students they want to add to their class for next year. Taking this approach will definitely help you be one of them!

10. Not doing your homework to know what the college is looking for in an ideal candidate: In the very first episode of my Making College Affordable podcast I talked about selecting colleges based on what you wanted and then discovering what they want from you in return. If you start your college search this way, you’ll end up with colleges that are a good fit for you. Then you can find out what they want and reverse engineer yourself to be a perfect fit for them.

This is helpful information to have when writing your college essay because you can tailor your message to speak their “Love Language” and naturally get better results than if you only talk about what you want from your college experience. Know what you want for sure, but explain things in a way that each college will appreciate so they will want to give you the chance to get those things. Here’s a quick example of this so you can see how it works.

Let’s say you want a college that has a strong academic reputation. And let’s say that this particular college really values academics and extracurricular activities from their ideal applicants. So instead of saying in your essay that it’s really important that you get a good education so you can get a good job after college, which is ultimately what your goal is, you can say something like “my extensive experience in a variety of challenging extracurricular activities has not only helped me learn how to communicate better and improve my time management skills, it has also helped me earn higher grades and tackle hard assignments with a greater sense of confidence.”

Now that’s a lot different than just talking about what you want from them, isn’t it? And it doesn’t have to be exactly like this, but think about it. The student wants a good education so he can get a good job after college. Going to that college would definitely help him get to where he wants to go, but the college has to give him that opportunity. So what is that college looking for? A person with good activities and a strong academic history, right? And now we can give the college what they want – “a variety of challenging extracurricular activities they can see on the application and resume, plus the benefits those activities have bred in the student, which has also made him better academically – and therefore a better fit for this particular college’s community.

Would you think that excelling in a variety of challenging activities, plus having good communication and time management skills, plus demonstrating a confidence to overcome challenges would help a person be a good candidate to get a good job after college? Of course. It also makes him a good candidate to get into that college that will help him get a good interview opportunity after college too. And it starts with an approach that meets the college’s needs while showcasing your strengths in the process.

Information vs. Insights There are a lot of people trying to advise students and their family’s for college. Almost everybody gives different versions of the same advice, especially when it comes to admissions - pick good colleges, apply early, and look around for scholarship opportunities. That’s all good, but it’s not what I’ve shared with you here.

These are real insights and the only way you can get these kinds of proven insights is to get them from a College Planning Specialist. That’s why I’m sharing them with you now, so you’ll have a fighting chance to beat the colleges at their own game. And it’s very likely that you won’t hear them from anybody else but me. That’s because other advisors either don’t know about what I’ve taught you today or because they underestimate the power having a strong, well designed college essay has in helping you reach your goals. It can make all the difference for you and I’m glad you’ve had the chance to learn about it now.

If you’d like to know more about how different college planners stack up and better determine which kind of college planner you should work with to get the results your family wants, you can download a free report that will show you which type of advisor is right for different types of situations. It can help you clarify what level of service you need for your family too. It’s totally free and I think it will help you, so check it out today .

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Crafting a Flawless College Admissions Essay: Avoiding Common Mistakes

Writing a compelling college admissions essay is critical to the application process. This essay provides an opportunity for students to showcase their personalities, passions, and experiences to the admissions committee. However, it’s important to approach this task with care, as common mistakes can hinder your chances of standing out. In this blog post, we will explore some key essay writing tips and discuss the common errors to avoid when crafting your college admissions essay.

Lack of Originality:

A lack of originality is one of the most common mistakes in college admissions essays. Admissions officers read numerous essays and seek to understand what makes each applicant unique. Lack of originality is a common mistake in college admissions essays, as admissions officers read numerous essays and seek unique perspectives. Here are some ways to avoid this mistake.

  • Avoid clichés and generic statements that fail to make a lasting impression.
  • Instead, focus on sharing personal anecdotes, experiences, and perspectives that highlight your individuality.
  • Reflect on the moments in your life that have shaped you, challenged you, or inspired you.
  • Consider what sets you apart from other applicants and showcase those qualities or experiences.
  • Be authentic and true to yourself in your essay, revealing your personality and what you would bring to the college community.
  • Use vivid descriptions, engaging dialogue, and unexpected twists to make your essay stand out.
  • Incorporate literary devices like metaphors or similes to create a unique and memorable reading experience.
  • Avoid trying to be controversial or shocking for the sake of originality; stay true to your values and beliefs.

Neglecting Proofreading and Editing:

Submitting an essay filled with grammatical errors and typos reflects poorly on your attention to detail and overall commitment to excellence. Submitting an essay with grammatical errors and typos can negatively impact your chances in the college admissions process. A polished essay demonstrates your dedication, attention to detail, and professionalism to the admissions officers. It shows that you took the essay seriously and invested time and effort into crafting a high-quality piece. Error-free writing enhances your essay’s readability and overall impact, allowing the admissions officers to focus on your ideas and experiences rather than being distracted by errors. Here are a few ways to avoid this mistake.

  • Review thoroughly and edit your essay for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure errors.
  • Read your essay multiple times, preferably with a fresh mind, to catch any mistakes you may have missed initially.
  • Consider seeking help from others, such as friends, family members, or even professional editors, to get a fresh perspective and ensure your essay is error-free.
  • Professional editors can provide valuable insights and help you polish your essay to perfection.
  • Use online grammar and spell-check tools as additional resources to catch any overlooked errors.
  • Pay attention to common mistakes such as subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and punctuation usage.

Lack of Structure and Cohesion:

A well-structured essay helps convey your thoughts effectively and enhances the overall readability of your essay. Avoid writing a disorganized piece that lacks a clear flow of ideas and jumps abruptly from one point to another because that can be extremely displeasing to the admissions committee. Here are a few ways to avoid this mistake.

  • Begin your essay with a strong introduction that grabs the reader’s attention and provides a clear thesis statement or main idea.
  • The introduction should set the tone for the essay and provide a roadmap for what the reader can expect.
  • Develop your main ideas in the body paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect or supporting point related to your thesis.
  • Ensure a logical progression between the body paragraphs, with smooth transitions that connect the ideas.
  • Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader and maintain coherence.
  • Provide sufficient evidence, examples, or anecdotes to support your ideas and make them more compelling.
  • Conclude your essay with a memorable closing paragraph that reinforces your main ideas and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
  • Avoid introducing new information or ideas in conclusion; summarize your main points and consider ending with a thought-provoking statement or a call to action.
  • Read your essay aloud or have someone else read it to ensure that the flow and transitions are smooth and logical.
  • Make the necessary revisions to improve the structure and coherence of your essay, ensuring that each paragraph and section contributes to the overall argument or message.

Overloading with Information:

While providing relevant details about your experiences and accomplishments is important, avoid overwhelming the reader with excessive information. By providing relevant details about your experiences and accomplishments and avoiding overwhelming the reader with excessive information, you can successfully avoid this mistake.

  • Quality is more important than quantity; focus on selecting a few key experiences that truly represent your personal growth, passions, and values.
  • Choose experiences that have significantly impacted your character development and shaped your future goals.
  • Instead of providing a laundry list of activities or achievements, delve deep into each chosen experience.
  • Showcase the emotional and intellectual impact of these experiences on your personal growth and development.
  • Explain how these experiences have influenced your values, perspectives, and aspirations.
  • Use vivid storytelling techniques to engage the reader and help them understand the significance of each experience.
  • Highlight specific moments, challenges, or insights that have contributed to your personal growth.
  • Connect each experience to your future goals, demonstrating how they have shaped your aspirations and influenced your desired path.
  • Demonstrate introspection by reflecting on the lessons learned and the skills or qualities you have gained from these experiences.
  • Avoid generic descriptions and provide specific examples or anecdotes that illustrate the impact and significance of each experience.
  • Remember, it’s better to go in-depth and provide meaningful insights about a few key experiences rather than provide superficial information about many.

Lack of Self-Reflection:

An effective college admissions essay goes beyond a mere retelling of experiences; it delves into personal growth and self-reflection. Your ability to articulate your personal growth and self-reflection journey will make your essay more compelling and memorable. It showcases your potential for continued growth and development in the college environment. Admissions officers are interested in applicants who can demonstrate self-awareness, maturity, and the capacity for critical thinking and personal growth. You can present yourself as a thoughtful and insightful candidate by showcasing your ability to reflect on your experiences and derive meaning from them.

  • Provide insight into why specific experiences were meaningful to you and how they have impacted your personal development.
  • Explain how these experiences have shaped your aspirations, values, and perspective on life.
  • Demonstrate self-awareness by reflecting on the lessons learned; challenges overcome, or personal transformations that occurred as a result of these experiences.
  • Show the admissions officers that you have thought deeply about yourself and your place in the world.
  • Highlight how your self-reflection has influenced your future goals, academic interests, or potential contributions to the college community.
  • Discuss any personal insights or realizations you have gained from your experiences and how they have shaped your character.
  • Use specific examples, anecdotes, or moments to illustrate your personal growth and self-reflection.
  • Avoid generic statements and instead provide thoughtful analysis and introspection.

Crafting a flawless college admissions essay requires time, effort, and careful consideration. Remember to seek feedback from trusted individuals, such as teachers, mentors, or US college admissions consultants, who can provide valuable guidance throughout the writing process. A well-crafted essay can increase your chances of securing a spot in your dream college and setting yourself apart from other applicants.

Write flawless essays with Rostrum

Are you looking to craft flawless essays that capture the attention of college admissions officers? Look no further than Rostrum, your trusted partner in the college admissions journey. With our team of experienced mentors and consultants, we are dedicated to helping you create exceptional essays that showcase your unique strengths and story. To know more, schedule a free consultation today.

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Eight Common College Essay Mistakes

How to avoid the common mistakes.

Eight Common College Essay Mistakes

Staring at a blank screen wondering what the heck to say in your college essay? We feel you. Personal essays can be among the most challenging communications to craft. Sometimes it’s almost easier to start with what not to write, so we’ve put together some of the most common mistakes we see students make when drafting college essays. Use this list as a starting point (and head in the opposite direction!).

College Essay Don’ts:

  • Don’t: Use overly formal language and structure.  College essays are more informal in tone and style than what you’d write for school, and voice is a critical component of the essay: this essay should sound like you! Not your mom, your English teacher, or your family friend who is a professional writer. (Trust us, admissions officers can tell.)
  • Don’t: List everything you’ve ever done. There’s no need to cram your life into one 650-word essay. Save all those extracurriculars for the application’s Activities section.
  • Don’t: Be vague. Specific details help your essay pop and take it from good to great.
  • Don’t: Tell instead of show. If you find yourself listing your positive attributes instead of sharing a story that illustrates those qualities, it’s time to reevaluate.
  • Don’t: Write about overcoming an obstacle if you haven’t overcome one. Some students think they have to write about failures, challenges, or difficulties they’ve faced.  Not everyone has experienced life-altering obstacles yet – and that’s okay! You have other stories to tell.
  • Don’t: Focus on someone else. There may be a really influential person in your life, and you may be able to write a great essay about that relationship, but don’t spend 650 words talking about how awesome that person is. You’re the one applying to college!
  • Don’t: Share your essay with too many people. If you ask for feedback from 47 people, you will get 47 different responses, which can get confusing. Pick just a couple people you really trust to read your essay when you’re ready for feedback.
  • Don’t: Wait until the last minute. The essay process can be exciting, empowering, and, dare we say it, fun – but not if you’re rushed. Get started early and you’ll stress less while giving that essay room to grow and breathe! After all, writing is a process, and it requires time and attention.

For more college essay guidance, check out these recordings of our recent college essay webinars. If you need more tips or support on structuring your college essay, contact us today.

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Don’t Make These Mistakes in Your College Essay

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We have been reading admissions essays for over thirteen years now, and we have identified the three most common mistakes students make while writing their college essays. So don’t:

Repeat the prompt in your essay

You only have so many words, sometimes as many as 1,000 in the case of Villanova , and sometimes as few as 150 in the case of Harvard . Don’t waste words regurgitating the same prompt admissions officers have already read a thousand times. They know the prompts by heart, trust us. Also, it’s plain boring! Start your essay off with something that hooks the reader, not puts them to sleep. 

Try to sound like an academic

You’re a teenager with a soon-to-be High School diploma, admissions officers aren’t expecting you to sound like the most well-read PhD student on the planet! Word choice is important to convey meaning and capture the moment, but there’s no need for you to be using words you wouldn’t use in everyday life. It will come off as phony and manufactured.

Use cliches

We know you know cliches are on the outs, but it bears repeating, don’t use cliches! Your grandma might think you’re the diamond in the rough, one in a million, and a needle in a haystack (and you may very well be!), but find another way to describe yourself that doesn’t include phrases old ladies use over bridge. There are other ways to emphasize your uniqueness. 

Do you prefer getting your information in video format? Check out our video on this topic below!

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Common Mistakes...

Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your Oxford Application

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Embarking on the journey to apply to the esteemed University of Oxford is both exhilarating and challenging. However, navigating through the intricate application process requires meticulous attention to detail and a strategic approach to avoid common pitfalls. 

In this comprehensive guide, we delve into the top 10 mistakes aspiring Oxford applicants must steer clear of, offering invaluable insights and proactive strategies for success. Plus, with Yocket Premium , gain exclusive access to personalized guidance and expert support tailored to elevate your Oxford application experience. Let's dive in and pave the path towards your academic aspirations with confidence and clarity.

If you're considering applying to the prestigious University of Oxford , you're about to embark on an exciting and challenging journey. Oxford is known for its rigorous academic standards, world-class faculty, and rich history. However, the application process can be daunting, and many aspiring students make common mistakes that can hinder their chances of acceptance.

Let us understand the most common mistakes to avoid when applying to Oxford. By understanding these pitfalls and taking proactive steps to avoid them, you can maximize your chances of success and stand out among the competitive applicant pool.

Suggested: Find Out the Top Courses at University of Oxford  

10 Common Mistakes to Avoid in Your Oxford Application

Below are list of mistakes to avoid in your Oxford Appilication:

Mistake 1: Inadequate Research

Mistake 2: inadequate academic preparation, mistake 3: inadequate preparation for admissions tests, mistake 4: poorly crafted personal statements, mistake 5: inadequate letters of recommendation, mistake 6: lack of extracurricular involvement, mistake 7: lack of preparation for interviews, mistake 8: telling lies in your application, mistake 9: missing the application deadline, mistake 10: telling lies in your application.

Lets deep dive into each mistake that can be avoided:

One of the biggest mistakes applicants make is failing to conduct thorough research on Oxford and its programs. It's crucial to understand the specific requirements, expectations, and academic culture of the university before submitting your application.

Lack of Familiarity with the Tutorial System

Oxford's unique tutorial system is at the heart of its teaching methodology. Instead of large lectures, students attend small-group tutorials where they engage in in-depth discussions with their tutors. Failing to grasp the significance of this system and its implications for your learning experience can be a red flag for admissions officers.

Ignoring Faculty Specializations

Each Oxford college has its own faculty and research interests. It's essential to research and identify the colleges that align with your academic interests and strengths. Applying to a college that doesn't offer courses or faculty expertise in your chosen field can significantly impact your chances of acceptance.

Underestimating the Importance of Personal Statements

Your statement is a critical component of your application. It provides an opportunity to showcase your passion, intellectual curiosity, and suitability for your chosen course. Many applicants underestimate the importance of crafting a compelling personal statement and end up with generic or poorly written essays.

Oxford is renowned for its academic rigor, and admissions officers expect applicants to demonstrate a high level of academic preparedness. Failing to meet these expectations can be detrimental to your application.

Insufficiently Predicted Grades or Achievements

Oxford places significant emphasis on academic achievement. Your predicted grades or actual exam results are crucial indicators of your academic potential. If your grades are significantly below the university's requirements or you lack notable achievements in your chosen field, your application may be less competitive.

Lack of Subject Knowledge

Oxford is looking for students who have a deep understanding of their chosen subject. Demonstrating a passion for your field of study through independent reading, attending lectures, or participating in relevant extracurricular activities can strengthen your application. Failing to showcase subject knowledge can make your application appear weak.

Over Reliance on Standardized Test Scores

While standardized test scores, such as the SAT or ACT , are important, they are not the sole determinant of your admission. Oxford takes a holistic approach to evaluating applicants, considering factors such as personal statements, letters of recommendation, and academic achievements. Relying solely on test scores without demonstrating other strengths can be a mistake.

Oxford requires many applicants to take subject-specific admissions tests. These tests assess your aptitude and subject knowledge. Inadequate preparation or lack of familiarity with the test format can significantly impact your performance.

Insufficient Practice

Admissions tests can be challenging, and it's essential to dedicate adequate time to preparation. Failing to practice under timed conditions or neglecting to familiarize yourself with the test format can result in subpar performance.

Lack of Familiarity with Test Content

Each admissions test has its unique content and format. It's crucial to thoroughly understand the test requirements and subject-specific knowledge needed to excel. Failing to familiarize yourself with the test content can put you at a disadvantage.

Neglecting Past Papers and Sample Questions

Utilizing past papers and sample questions is an effective way to prepare for admissions tests. These resources provide insight into the test structure, types of questions, and level of difficulty. Neglecting to use these resources can hinder your ability to perform well.

As mentioned earlier, your statement plays a vital role in your application. A poorly crafted personal statement can undermine your chances of acceptance.

Lack of Structure and Coherence

A well-structured and coherent personal statement is essential to engage the reader. Failing to organize your thoughts, provide a clear narrative, or articulate your ideas can make your statement appear disjointed and unimpressive.

Generic and Clichéd Statements

Admissions officers read countless personal statements and generic or clichéd statements can make your application blend in with the crowd. It's crucial to inject your personality, unique experiences, and genuine passion into your writing to stand out.

Lack of Evidence and Specific Examples

Supporting your claims and assertions with evidence and specific examples can add credibility to your statement. Simply making grand statements without providing concrete examples can weaken your overall argument.

Letters of recommendation provide insights into your character, academic abilities, and potential. Inadequate or poorly written letters can negatively impact your application.

Struggling to compose a striking LOR? Yocket Premium has you covered. Get access to LOR samples from admits to top universities, along with 1:1 guidance from experts. Sign up now to ace LOR!

Choosing Inappropriate recommendations

Selecting recommenders who are not familiar with your academic abilities or lack a personal connection with you can result in generic and unconvincing letters. It's crucial to choose recommenders who can provide detailed and specific insights into your strengths and potential.

Lack of Guidance for Recommenders

Providing clear guidance to your recommenders regarding your academic and personal achievements can help them craft more compelling letters. Failing to communicate your accomplishments effectively can result in vague or unimpressive letters.

Late Submissions or Incomplete Letters

Ensure that your recommenders have ample time to write and submit their letters. Late submissions or incomplete letters can reflect poorly on your organizational skills and commitment to the application process.

Suggested: MBA in Business Administration at Oxford : Admission Process

Oxford values well-rounded individuals who have demonstrated a commitment to extracurricular activities. Failing to showcase your involvement outside of academics can make your application appear one-dimensional.

Limited or Unimpressive Extracurricular Activities

Oxford seeks individuals who have excelled in their chosen field and have demonstrated leadership, initiative, and a commitment to their passions. Limited or unimpressive extracurricular activities can make your application less competitive.

Failure to Highlight Transferable Skills

Extracurricular involvement provides an opportunity to develop transferable skills such as leadership, teamwork, and time management. Failing to highlight these skills in your application can downplay your potential contribution to the university community.

Neglecting to Provide Evidence of Impact

When describing your extracurricular activities, it's crucial to provide evidence of the impact you have made. Whether it's through organizing events, winning competitions, or initiating positive change, showcasing tangible results can strengthen your application.

If you're selected for an interview, it's important to prepare thoroughly. Interviews at Oxford can be challenging, and inadequate preparation can hinder your ability to showcase your abilities and potential.

Failure to Research Interview Format and Expectations

Each Oxford course and college may have different interview formats and expectations. Failing to research and understand the interview process can result in confusion or lack of preparedness.

Ineffective Communication and Body Language

During the interview, effective communication and positive body language are crucial. Failing to articulate your thoughts clearly, demonstrate enthusiasm, or maintain eye contact can negatively impact your performance.

Lack of Practice and Mock Interviews

Practicing mock interviews with friends, teachers, or mentors can help you become more comfortable with the interview process. Failing to practice can result in nervousness, lack of confidence, and a subpar performance.

Yocket has aided over 10,000 students in gaining entry to their top-choice schools. Our expert counselors and tech-enabled tools help applicants stand out. We'll assist you in crafting outstanding documents required for admission success. Connect with Yocket Premium for personalized guidance from application to enrollment.

Honesty is key when filling out your application. Ensure that all the information you provide is accurate, including your grades, experiences, and achievements. It's essential to be truthful and transparent throughout the application process. Being caught in a lie can have severe consequences and may result in your application being rejected.

Missing the application deadline is a critical mistake that can have severe consequences. Make sure to familiarize yourself with the application deadlines for each university you are considering and submit your application well in advance. Setting personal deadlines a week before the official deadline can help ensure that you have ample time to complete your application accurately and avoid any last-minute complications.

From the Desk of Yocket

Applying to Oxford is a challenging but rewarding process. By avoiding common mistakes and taking proactive steps to strengthen your application, you can maximize your chances of acceptance. Remember to conduct thorough research, prepare academically, craft compelling personal statements, obtain strong letters of recommendation, showcase your extracurricular involvement, and prepare for interviews. With careful planning and dedication, you can make a compelling case for why you are the ideal candidate for Oxford University. 

Navigating the intricate path to Oxford requires expert guidance and personalized support. With Yocket Premium , gain access to exclusive resources and tailored assistance to ace every aspect of your application journey.  Let us be your trusted companion as you embark on this exhilarating pursuit of academic excellence at the prestigious University of Oxford. Good luck!

Frequently Asked Questions on Common Mistakes to Avoid in Oxford Application

What are the most common mistakes applicants make when applying to Oxford University?

The most common mistakes applicants make include inadequate research on Oxford and its programs, insufficient academic preparation, poorly crafted personal statements, lack of extracurricular involvement, and inadequate preparation for admissions tests and interviews.

How can inadequate research affect my chances of acceptance into Oxford?

Inadequate research can lead to a lack of familiarity with Oxford's unique tutorial system, ignorance of faculty specializations, and underestimation of the importance of personal statements, all of which can significantly impact an applicant's chances of acceptance.

What role do personal statements play in the Oxford application process, and how can I avoid making errors in mine?

Personal statements are crucial, as they provide an opportunity for applicants to showcase their passion, intellectual curiosity, and suitability for their chosen course. To avoid errors, applicants should ensure their statements are well-structured, avoid clichés, and provide evidence and specific examples to support their claims.

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